Bored...

Not much going on right now, it's an inter-semester time. But people are coming back! Cassie! Yuko! It's feeling like back to normal.

I'm kinda depressed right now, mostly with my goal-keeping. I'll be come better. I need a personal trainer boyfriend. That way I can keep my weight and body goals better. ;D

DenverPost.com - NATION/WORLD

Ugh and he has a lesbian daughter...tho that doesn't mean that they have to agree...but STILL!

Fool.com: HP, Apple Jam [Motley Fool Take] January 9, 2004

Fool.com: HP, Apple Jam [Motley Fool Take] January 9, 2004 - odd...sounds interesting

CNN.com - Boy stuck in supermarket game - Jan. 8, 2004

CNN.com - Boy stuck in supermarket game - Jan. 8, 2004
OMG!!!

Daily Digest of Links

Coloradoan/Larimer County

The Post/Drive-ins

The Post/Broncos D'oh!

The Rocky/Denver Square

The Rocky/TV

Hmm...fingerprinting...

Umm ... cold!

Yah, it's 11 in the morning and it's about 0F (-18C). It's supposed to be a haute high of about 6F (-13C). Hmm ... today is definitely a book day.

Ellie: i did write that letter to sensei. We sent it right before I posted it on the blog, at about 8 or 9 at night Mountain Time. And my dream was whacko. It's weird, maybe because I'm getting enough sleep...I'm remembering my dreams, and for a while after I awake too. It's cool though, I spoke in Chinese in one of my dreams a few nights ago; though I have no recollection of the actual content of the dream, I remember speaking in chinese throughout most of it.

Salem: Durn it! He's gone already? I didn't get a chance to say 'bye' or nothin! Sux. Oh well, I enjoyed the party at Maya's but I do have a question, should I have paid for some of that pizza? I totally left without thinking of it, and then I only remembered when I got back home. Suck!

I'm so unexcited about going back to SUA. Every time I come back home for a long period of time, I don't remember how I could ever get through each day. I mean there's always something going on AND there's studies.

Oh yeah, must remember tell John/Jay Marzullo that Francie umm...Lastnameforgotten says 'Hi!' and yada yada yada. Better get that info b4 I go.

I'm kinda unmotivated about school. I know it's going to be hard and the like when I go back. Que yo tengo que estudiar mucho m'as para la clase de espanol...gen wo de zhongwen ke. I don't know how I'm going to survive this semester, but I'm sure I will. I just don't really want to get into many bad habits like I know I always do.

I'm also thinking about staying around over the summer, but that thought scares me. It involves getting a place with other people & I know I'm a hard person to read alot of the time, so that ought to be an interesting story. I don't know where I'll have the money too. Because I'm expecting that I'll have to pay around $150 per month IF i'm going to share with some people and not sardining ourselves.

That means though that I'll be able to come back and do some skiing/boarding for Spring break! YAAAY! That's my plan, especially if I'm not going to see my family for 9-12 months from this wednesday. I don't want to be totally disconnected.

Oh yeah! I went Skiiing on Saturday. It was fun. Though due to my bad form, I had the burning thighs from hell syndrome! We went up into Wyo. and skiied at Snowy Range. It was nice, though cold! I think that it was weird, because they were skiing down here in Colo with thigh deep powder and I could hardly stand up in 4-6" powder. But oh did I love falling in Champagne powder or semi-packed powder!!! It's soft and it don't hurt. Though, being Wyo, there were wind-swept ice sheets near the top of every hill.

There was a cute guy at the lodge rental place too. My type, looked like a boarder/football player. Sigh! Dirty blond, squared chin, blueish eyes. All with that all-american straight-boy good looks. Sigh. No pings nor pangs. So, no chance there.

So, oh well, there goes on and on into my life of celibacy. I want to find someone that I can start a relationship with. Maybe someday. But as for now I have some prayers to do.

I'll post to y'all probably later tonight or tomorrow morning. We're going out to celebrate my going away, my obaachan's birthday (30 Dec official / 23 Dec real) and my brothers's birthdays (10 jan - middle one's / 17 jan - youngest one's). Hopefully we'll be going to some chinese sit-down place and not a buffet.

Great Wall in Loveland here we come!!!

OMG!!!!

http://www.local6.com/news/2732066/detail.html

Happy New Year!

I'm glad it's a new year. It's time to leave the baggage from last year behind and look forward with hope to a new year. I know that the glow won't last, but I'm enjoying it while it does.

So, here's the list of resolutions and goals that I, Andy Reker, will have for this new year:

(1) Lose 30 lbs and drop to 12~15% body fat by next New Years.
**I'm tired of being this heavy, time to actually follow up on a resolution
(2) Make a relationship with someone who lets me grow as a person
**I need a rock to help anchor my world, and of course someone to whine to.
(3) Laugh harder, and more often, with abandon
**I want smile wrinkles, and laugh wrinkles, not stern wrinkles!
(4) Find the right study-abroad location for me
--Program is good
--I get the most out of the experience
--The study abroad family is a nice, pleasant, AND understanding family
--No armed conflict for 500km from my home-stay house
--Time to go explore before, during, and after the program
--Best food
**Probably the number 2 reason I went to SUA; and the number 3 reason why I stay, better be good!
(5) Support my family in life
--Finding acceptance AND support of my sexuality from my parents
--Support my obaachan as much as possible, because she has the heart of a 20 year-old and the body of an 80 year-old.
--Support my brothers to become the best people before they enter college.
(6) Have tremendous growth in the SGI in OC and in Fort Collins.
--I want to see the Fort Collins Community Center built in 10 years!
--Build a balanced 4-divisional unified front that actively promotes world peace, throughout the world.
(7) Support Sensei coming to the US in anyway I can.
--Finding the time to do S-Group or G-Group whenever I can
--Building trust with others
--Making connections within my own communities for peace
(8) Support the Worldwide Culture Festival in OC for the summer in any way I can
--Using my background from the PeaceFest on Sept 30th 2001 in Denver, I want to support to make a 100 000 person festival. Huge! Success!
--Show to Sensei the strength of the Youth and the unity in the SGI.
(9) To learn another language
--Completely devote myself to understanding the Chinese language, and not just squaking
--Better understanding and continue to try to use the Spanish language more often
--Use my skills to help me understand a larger group of people
(10) Support the Identity Club
--Begin with basic meetings, supporting dialogue
--Add larger events: "Coming Out Day" "World AIDS Day" "Day of Silence" "Right to Marry Day" Etc etc
--Outreach into the community, conducting dialogues
(11) Support VOV, in any way I can, as just driving support, or something even better, as someone who actually works in the VOV presentations.
--Connect myself to the VOV leader in my area
--Support those who go to activities with my diamoku, and my physical presence
(12) Keep in touch with my peers and friends from HS/JHS
--I do a bad enough job as it is, I can't get worse; it can only get better from here on out.
--Emails, phone calls, letters
(13) Keep in touch with Erika, Chiaki, Jero^me, Petr, and those who live in foreign lands
--I want to keep the connection to those people alive!
(14) Save money so that I can (a) stay in the OC for the summer festival and (b) travel in Europe or Latin America before, during, and after I go to study abroad.
--Experience before my even greater experience
(15) Donate $125 for Zaimu and $175 for May contributions, at the least.
--I'll get it back somehow anyways; and it's going to a better cause than any other I can think of
(16) Look stupid, but start introducing others to buddhism. I know that I have friends who are unhappy, and I know the key to start becoming happy.
--I am screwed by others view of my religion. It's time to let that go, and be unafraid of looking stoopid and actually start living 'loud' and showing what my philosophy/religion can do for someone.
(17) Support my districts in developing capable youth for this century
--Supporting all the members in my district to become capable people
--Seeking out the JH/HS memebers and supporting them anyway I can

Eh, that's a big enough list for now...
That crane will be full...whenever we get the Origami paper to write the goals on....

Mood: "Tired"
Music: The Humming of the Reker Refridgerator
Light: none!

My New Year's/Birthday Letter to Sensei

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It�fs been a long time since I wrote you last, but today, I write with fresh hope and a fresh outlook on the future. I think that the last few months of 2003 have been very helpful to me in defining who I am and also what role I fit into at Soka University of America.
2003 was a great year for me, though difficult and challenging. I had struggled with myself, many times before, in being confident in who I know myself to be. This past year I was able to better define a part of myself and tell others my great accomplishment. I also decided that I wanted to further my language skills, in English as well as in another two languages. Though it was tough and took a lot of work to keep up in studies, I can say that I enjoyed every minute of learning Spanish and Chinese. I was shocked to learn that there are ugly and mean politics at SUA. The Balitzer-McGiness issue was ugly and divisive, but now the campus has started to heal the wounds, together.
However, I�fve told you this one way or another throughout the year in previous letters. What has been most amazing for me is that in the last month or so, I�fm beginning to find a great appreciation for the SGI. The SGI has always just been there. As a fortune baby, I don�ft remember a time where I didn�ft practice, and don�ft have the luck to be able to compare my life �gpre-SGI�h and �gSGI.�h It is something I know just wasn�ft for my own situation. However, with Aliso Amigos district in Aliso Creek Chapter, near SUA, I feel that we�fve grown up together as a small community. I am more active there in that district, by my own accord, than I have ever been. I want this district to be the shining example of all of the SGI of how to be a completely unified district working with you for Kosen Rufu.
At this time, for my district, we have challenges as well; I am only one of two YMD in my district. The YMD leader of my district, Michael Sasaki, is now going away for study abroad. I don�ft have a very good connection with the other YMD, I really don�ft know why, but I haven�ft been able to talk to him as much as I want to. I will be going away in the fall for my study abroad, and then that�fd leave a small group again, without a big youth presence from SUA. So, my district and I are at a crossroads. What shall we do with this situation?
One of the solutions that were started right before I left was that we�fd attract another SUA student. That we did, so we have Daisaku Yamazaki coming into our district. I haven�ft spoken to him much, but the first impression I have of him was not good. I don�ft know why, but he seems a bit too reserved, like hiding something. But, I�fm committed to making this district grow and I know that he will be a valuable part of the district, and we can both grow together. At the same time, we also have Yoko Kogure, who�fs joining our district. Because she�fs so involved in extracurricular activities, it seems that she can�ft go to the district she was assigned to, about 30 minutes away in Rancho Santa Margarita.
So we have another YWD and YMD. However, I think it would be a better position if we could get other, non-SUA students involved in the leadership. It would provide for a more stable district, where we don�ft have to worry about who will be the leader next term, and next year, quite so often. That is another idea that I�fve been considering the pros and cons of, over my winter break back at home. I don�ft know exactly how it will work out, but I know that the best situation will come out of this.
This is one of the challenges of the coming year. There are others challenges I�fm looking forward to. I will be going on Study Abroad in the fall semester. There is talk of having a worldwide culture festival in Orange County that I�fm excited about. I want to help out in anyway possible. If I can�ft make it for the actual festival, then I want to do the planning that will make it be a great festival. I also have many challenges in my next term. I am again taking 5 courses: Chemistry, Chinese, Core II, Economics, and Spanish. I know that it will be a heavy load to take on, but my mind is thirsty for information. I also have a goal of losing 30 pounds and getting to around 12~15% body fat. I�fm tired of weighing so much and know that this extra weight and energy can and should be used for the sake of other people.
I am also going to continue working for the SUA Student Newspaper, The Pearl, knowing that we have a full plate of challenges for the coming semester. We need to create writers out of newbies. It is difficult work, but I�fm enjoying it. Like any other challenge, every challenge The Pearl has had, brings the �ecore�f group of the paper together. I know that there are many things we have yet to finish and that we can always expand coverage, write better, but I�fm happy to belong to this group of students who are leaders of the rest of the campus.
I am also slowly learning through others what your spirit is; now it is my turn to further my own understanding of your spirit. The spirit to care for others is something that has escaped me the past 19 years of my life, and now I�fm only beginning to understand what it means for you to be the mentor in someone�fs life as an example. I am not only excited about this, but I know that it will be difficult to train myself, and am happy that it will be. (Seems a little bit odd, doesn�ft it? I�fm happy about something that will be difficult.)
I know that this letter is about congratulations on a new year and on your birthday, but I also wanted to thank you so much. Thank you for holding up the ideals of Soka Education. I can think of no other education system that creates more meaning for the students who are educated by it. Thank you for holding up the SGI. It is the major source of my strength to keep going. I could not have made it to this point without the support of other SGI members. Thank you for being a great example and for your goal and vision for the future that is just now beginning to inspire me.
Sincerely,

Andrew Nobuaki Reker
1 January 2004 / Fort Collins, Colorado, USA

Dreams...

Dream:

I’m driving around someone like Neesa, Keefe’s sister. I don’t exactly remember why, but she needs something from SUA, and I said that I’d drive her to and back home from SUA, where she’d have to travel a couple of times before she had all the stuff she wanted. It seemed like she needed something from the library. She’s all non-dressy this time: has on a purple back pack, and dressed kinda like Jaime Grim and Ellie (not to worry, this is foreshadowing; by my own dream!)

So, I drive her around SUA, she gets dropped off at about the 370 Building, but it’s totally not like the 370 building we know. The building is amazingly not like a SUA building, there’s a glass canopy, multiple lanes, and busses and white vans flying everywhere. I pull into the lane closest to the opposite direction lane. Somehow, there’s all the normal parking going around the loop counterclockwise but all this stuff and 380 and 370 in their about normal spots.

So, she gets dropped off, she says that she’ll need to be picked up a little bit later. So I go, and then all of a sudden she’s back to being dropped off the 2nd time. So I guess I’d already picked her up and dropped her off.

As I pull into the exact same spot, Ellie walks up all smiles, with her purple backpack, and the ?brownish? sweater-coat-thingy she wears. At the same time, Jaime Grim (HS person), shows up from behind and they both ?know? each other, maybe. But, they both say ‘hi’ to me. And Ellie asks if she can have a ride so that we can have a ‘spot of tea (or fresh chai).’ I find it weird that she knows that in the pantry at home (here in CO), that I have many unused packs of tea.

As these girls were walking-up, Neesa has been putting her backpack in the trunk of my car. I don’t know why, it seems random to me, but I asked her if she wanted to put it back there, because I sensed that she didn’t need the backpack anymore.

So, now she’s done, and all three are sitting there on the right side of my car, where I’m trying to tell Ellie that taking some tea, would take an hour. Of course, Ellie’s like 30 minutes. Then, I’m like all counting the ways that it’d be an hour: prep time, drinking/chatting time, and then getting-back-to-work time. Jaime is agreeing with Ellie, but of course! At the same time, Neesa’s trying to tell me something, probably when to pick her up, but I’m too busy talking with Ellie, and trying to convince her that it’d take an hour, and then …

My dad comes and tells me to write a letter to Sensei for his birthday.

Interesting dream, totally weird!

Happy New Years!

Happy new years! )as of yet, in japan, australia, malaysia, new zealand, phillippines( We'll be partying pretty soon here as well!

Not much to talk about.

Today I went to lunch with a family friend and my obaachan. We went to Mt Fuji, the japanese food place by Best Buy and that whole Harmony/Troutman complex near College. It was a good obento. That's another thing I miss when I'm at SUA. There's a whole slew upon a slew of good restaurants, or at least decent meals and the like that are good around here...but those aren't avail in AV. )argh(

Yesterday, met a cool lady and her husband, who are members here in the FC area, down south, in the Huntington Hills (yah know by Paragon Point, Southridge Golf Course; ok ok, so near the intersection of Lemay and Fossil Creek Pkwy, around 5000-6000 address wise on Lemay). They're a nice couple; and the lady knows John/Jay Marzullo, the OC SGI Region leader. Super cool! She practiced from her Kotekitai days in FL, moved to SoCal, and then to NorCal and then here. So she's been to all the cool places around here and there.

Between yesterday and last Saturday, I didn't do much. I went shopping at the Flatirons, near 120th/Boulder Turnpike on Monday (i think) and that was cool. I got a couple of cool chokers, and went to Borders and got some books. I should really get to reading those soon!

I finished the Redwall-series book I was reading. It was pretty good, and now I want to read another. So, I'm using that energy to try to read _Les Miserables_. I only read a short part (the Priest's Candlesticks) in French, and saw the movies (both in english and french). So far it was good, I'm just kinda daunted by like a 500pg _abridged_ edition.

Oh well,
so far nothing exciting
Tomorrow's the new year!
Happy 2004!

Ho hum...

Home is ho-hum, pretty much.

I went to hockey today, that was fun. Afterwards went to silver mine and Pan's. Silver Mine was good, grilled chicken sub, warm! Yum! At Pan's I avoided that pizza and had the garlic cheese bread. Oiishiii!!! (datta!). T'was good.

After that, we went to Miah and Sarah's. Watched all of american pie and then came home and promptly fell asleep. It felt good to fall asleep; thought that maybe I was getting sick, but now I feel better, so I KNOW that i'm not.

Now I know that I should know this, but the air is thin up here. Only a few thousand (or 5 thousand) feet higher, and I haven't done any work out in about 1.5~2.0 weeks, but still, i thought I was in better shape. I guess not, D'oh!

Funerals are weird...

I don't know what to do at a christian funeral... I mean I'm already a buddhist, what else do u want me 2 do...function in a judeo-christian-amoral world?!?!?!?!

Ok, so it's not that bad, but I've never been to a funeral before. EVER. And the service is too quiet, they say celebrate the love and life, but there's no celebration. Tears are good, but accompanied by grief only is something I don't like. I think all the asians in the place (about 7) threw off the people who were there that actually knew the guy. But we were there to support our buddy Dale, who asked us to come. So we went. Maybe, t'was a bad idea for me and my bro to go to a funeral. :(

Then there's the thought that within the next 2-3 years, one of the people in my IB class will probably tragically have died somehow or someway. That's a scary thought, and maybe by the time we're 25 we'll have known more than 5 people who were in the same class as we were in school, will probably have died as well.

As I reach towards 20 years old, the prospect of life being a constant cycle of death and rebirth, starts to make more sense to me as well.

Hmm...in buddhism: the concept is that at every breath, one is reborn again. It is that we'll eventually die, but only in our physical form; our spiritual form: soul, won't go away; it's just resting. Unfortunately, it seemed like the people there didn't subscribe to that philosophy as much. :
Oh well, g'night!

a night of little rest...and much anticipation

And no it ain't Christmas, that was yesterday.

Last Samurai was so awesome, I had a dream with Tom Cruise in it; and NO, not THAT kind of dream!!! (Though, I wouldn't mind it if it came my way.)

And I have









Field hockey tomorrow.

Partay! Ok, well actually Sleepppay!

G'night!

DVD Lists

(4) Forrest Gump
(A1) Philadelphia
(A2) Angels in America
(5) One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
(B1) Last Samurai
(B2) Hero