Day 14

07 January 2006

Today was a full day too.

I woke up late, ate some breakfast, showered, and did most of my packing in the morning and had lunch.

I went to visit my grandmother (my dad’s biological mother) at the old folk’s home. She has mild Altzheimer’s disease—which means that she basically remembers things from the past, but she has no concept of time passing—she doesn’t remember my dad visiting just a week or so ago. When we went to visit today, the way she was acting, it seemed like she (a) didn’t really want to see us and (b) saw us for the first time in a while. At her age, I think she has been through a lot and I had to chant a lot in my heart that I could say something. I don’t really know what to say to someone I’m not sure will remember I’m there. I’m not really sure what to say to people who are older than say 70 years, except maybe my obaachan, but that’s because she raised me. I want to be able to make others feel at ease, but I don’t know how. I was somewhat frustrated when I was at the old folk’s home. While there, as well, I realized that I don’t want to live in an old folk’s home. If I’m to die, I want to die in my sleep while still fully mobile and in good health, even if at an old age. Not that it’s hard to make value while in an old folk’s home, but to me, it seemed to be a very sad place—not very good for the soul. I’m glad to see my grandmother. I don’t think she gets many visitors—I could see why, it’s hard to visit someone who won’t remember you visited in a few hours—but if I’m in the Kanagawa area when (or if) I come for Jet, I want to visit her as much as I can.

Right afterwards, we went to Kamakura to visit the SGI Study Center near Tatsunokuchi Beach—the beach where Nichiren Daishonin almost was beheaded during the Tatsunokuchi Persecution. It is a small kaikan with a beautiful view. President Ikeda has also placed a lot of important and meaningful objects in this kaikan as well. There’s a couple scrolls made by Toda and Makiguchi Sensei—e.g. one that says “Kosen Rufu”—and one scroll with the Japanese character for “stand up”—symbolizing the spirit of the Daishonin and the first three presidents of the Soka (Kyoiku) Gakkai to stand up. It is an awesome center. Eun-yi CHUNG also was there last March apparently too. She signed the guest-book and left a short message. I also left a slightly embarrassing determination to “change the world.” I will do it somehow, I don’t know how, just yet, but that’s what youth is for, I think—figuring that out.

After that we went directly to Fujisawa. My dad and I did a bit of omiyage shopping at a 100-yen store. Got 13 things—12 for others, 1 for me—and spent 1.430-yen.

An ode to the 100-yen shop:
O 100-yen shop, how do I love, thee.
You are much better than the dollar store,
For all your goods are actually 100-yen.
You are much fairer than the Ito Yokado down the street,
For your goods are 100-yen (plus tax).
You are much cooler than any store on the street,
For you look down on all the others from the fourth floor.

Afterwards we went Ito Yokado to look for a new dress for Miyuki, but couldn’t find anything in her size. Zannen. Then we traveled to the Shonan-Fujisawa Bunka Kaikan (South of Capital Area-Fujisawa Culture Center) for the Broadcast Meeting. Pre-meeting, we went to the Gasuto/Skylark right next to the kaikan and had dinner—a big, full dinner. I was very furu by the end of the dinner. Filling food, not the greatest, but good, clean famiri dainingu.

At the Broadcast Meeting, I had to hold back my tears once the part with Sensei started. I didn’t understand much of any body’s speeches, not the YMD, YWD, WD, or MD’s, nor even Sensei’s—I need the translation/subtitles. However, when Sensei came on-screen and started handing out the poems to the areas that were represented at the meeting—I couldn’t help but start tearing up—my thoughts were about how great Sensei is to the members. Thinking about the best way to reach them. I was impressed by the YWD and WD of Japan—like usual, they are the reason the Gakkai exists—they are its eternal mothers and the lifeblood of the SGI. I couldn’t help but feel that I want Sensei to be at SUA for my graduation. I know he still has a lot of life in him, so maybe it’s not his time to spend his last days at SUA—but I want him to be there. If not, then I will make the trek back to SUA for when he comes to spend his last days there.

My trip in Japan has really come to an end. I don’t know how much I’ve spent. I don’t know what I’ve learned, just yet. I’m really glad I came—I didn’t really even feel like I went somewhere. But, I know that something in my life is changing.

I’m really thinking about how I can be more responsible to the YMD in Aliso Amigos District, how I can be a better student at SUA, and how I can change my relationships. I am determined to make 2006 a great year. I want to do shakubuku—someone said that Micro of Def Tech did 25 shakubuku last year. I want to have a life-condition that great and expansive.

To the year 2006, to all our goals, hopes, and wishes. To their completion! To friends! To family! To comrades! To all my best! Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.