31.10.03
there are no words to explain how tired i am can i say it no too much energy required-tv is on music plays-i am tired-toomuchjustintimberlakeplayedatthehauntedhousedexstuff. itwouldbenicetoseeifpeoplecouldactuallygetthingsdoneontime, butthenagainishouldntbetheonecomplainingbecauseidoitjustasbadastheydo.

gnight
29.10.03
exactly
::fireBlog::
To bed i go.
A student was found dead this early this morning in Sunset Hall at Soka University of America. A friend knocked on the student's door early in the morning, at approximately 5h00AM to borrow a stapler, and found the body of the dead student underneath a large pile of books. Authorities say it appears that the student died from a pile of books falling on top of him and then a subsequent suffocation from the weight of the books. However, nothing will be certain until an autopsy is conducted.

Most students that we talked to have said that they were worried that an incident like this could happen. "Midterms have been going on for three weeks, so it seems, so people might have forgotten to return books to the library," commented one student.

Administration on campus had no comments, but did express their wish of deep condolances ("cordolances!") to the family of the dead student.

---Story of my life for the last 3 weeks.
28.10.03
Funnest. Night. Ever.

So, clubbing...in WeHo. (West Hollywood for all of you uninitiated fag hags and bois :D) last friday was really fun. I forgot how much overt sexuality there is in gay culture. Point in case, during the 10 mins of the hard-body dance contest (which is sexual already), i think that all the males humped the ground for a few minutes, a few males humped each other, AND there was a strip tease. All this at your run-of-the-mill gay bar in WeHo.

Hot-t-t-t-damn though, there were some good-looking guys there! I forgot how good some people look::SokaVision::. There was a really tall hunk of a man there that I got to stare at for 5 minutes. The club was sparse at the beginning, but being packed in isn't the best thing either. But, after dancing for an an hour or so, I got tired and didn't want to do much more. By then, it was becoming packed.

It was heck-tic getting there though. Two people were on stupid soka-time, but one was expected, and the other, forgot to bring their ID. We also had to get gas, but we did that BEFORE the person realized they forgot their ID, so we had to go back for them to get their ID. So, we zoom onto the 5 Fwy(N). That was fun, we were scot-free until we reached the LA County Line. We hit traffic once we got into the LA county, then got to drive on city streets until we got near the club and parked. We thought we were late for the getting in w/o paying cover. However, some sweet talking got us in (thank you Mike).

It was nice to be able to see people, on the street, in bars, doing what people normally do; unlike here at Soka and in South OC, where people don't do much, or don't walk.

So, back to the dancing, it was fun. I bet u've heard that so many times now. It really was fun. Grind'n'bump with rather cute men. Aww, i get chilly thinking all about it. So, there's a lot of showing off of bodies going on. People drinking to loosen-up. and a bunch of younger folk, like us U students, there early to get in under cover. It starts with a few people on the dancefloor and it's mostly us. But, it gets more and more packed, and hotter and hotter as the night goes on. By 11h30, I think the place is what you'd start to call "packed". From 10h30 to 11h30, I danced...not really wanting to dance with anyone, but by the time we left, I decided that getting some random guy to wiggle near me wouldn't be a bad thing after all. hehe.

So, other than that it was an uneventful night. My friend had a good b'day party. It was hella foggy on the way back, though; we took the 10-110-405-5 and it was so foggy on the 405 from LB all the way back to Campus. I swear I couldn't see more than a 100m ahead on the 405 and hardly 50m ahead when I got nearer to campus.

Not that most people care...but...i just thought I'd include the bits of traffic commentary.
Procrastinating...procrastinating...nothing to do but procrastinate.
Bored in Calc class! What can I do...sit here and be repugnant.
27.10.03
So, last night, at like 11PM I learned that there were fires near some SD Culture Centers. Gave me a fright. It brought back memories of huge fires back in Colo, and the like. And the thought of loosing your house or even your place of worship, seems so big. As far as I know, now they are using at least 1 CC as a center for volunteers and a refuge for SGI members who lost their houses. As well as a donation center. So, it seems the danger has passed, for now.
26.10.03
Train - Calling All Angels...stuck in my head as a procrastinate
I procrastinate through the internet. tee hee hee, the irony of that statement is getting to me.
It's official.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

This is HELL WEEK #3!

I don't know how much longer I can take. We'll try another week. But I can already feel this car starting to spin away, out of control.
Oh, I'm doing _yet ANOTHER_ paper on Senor Eedeepus! Oedipus Rex time number 4 or something like that for a paper on him! Whoa!

The comparison I'm doing is on Oedipus and Ibsen's Ghosts. At least they're cool plays!
Yabai! (Argh!) Denver lost, but i guess, if it's like your 4th String QB, you can't expect much. But still los Broncos Lost!!! Yabai!

In other news, people have been causing too much stress for me!

Can I quit?
No, really can I?
Argh, I mean, life is so difficult, that's why.
What do you mean no, it's technically not possible???
Oh, I _signed_ a contract?
D'oh! yada yada yada, fine print, fine print! There's no escape clause or something?
Well, ha-rumpfh!
Ok, I'll go do my paper...this is getting tiring thinking of dialogue without another person.
Yum!
25.10.03
I just got home...from Rage. T'was so fun! I had fun!

Got to dance with some guys and that kinda stuff. T'was really fun. Plus there were quite a few cuties and I had fun dancing with them.

But, I'm so tired right now...i'm going to go to bed!

I'll write more to y'all l8r!
23.10.03
don'tfusion...
The chair is so cofmortable...in calculus.
22.10.03
Hmm...logic?
Can I explode now?
Can you see me now?

Does time go faster for those who are stressed?
Does time go slower when your having fun?
Does procrastination make time slower?

Does Mario 3 for Game Boy Advance have a cool commercial?
Bet on it!

Will heat kill someone?
Will I have to turn on the A/C yet again at 6AM tomorrow?

Can I have a calendar of the Stade (Paris) Rugby team?
Can I have a friend that I won't distrust, ever?

Ole ole ole!
You hear it first!

Teacher: Laoshi.
Xingqisi: Thursday.
Zhongwen: Stress!

Brain: merde
Work: merde
TV: merde
Hommes: merde
gens: pas de merde

J'aime les hommes de Stade France (Paris)...ils sont hott!

J'ai recu mon premier /Instinct/...je l'aime!

Je veux un homme, pas pour aimer mais pour baiser. Mais mon coeur et mon conscience ne me laisse pas le faire.

Comedy Central has the old Whose Line... yay!

European television is cool...their style is much more subtle and outspoken at the same time!
18.10.03
So, tonight, I went down to Laguna con mi hermana (mi chica) MB. She's come so far in the last 5 months. So far in the last year and a half. So far. And now is so brave and confident, compared to herself at the beginning of last year.

And yet...

I stand on the quay...waiting.
My mind says "go, start, walk NOW!"
My heart sits still.
Waiting.

I understand and believe, but
they're telling me believe and you'll understand.
What? Me?, I am logical, I am western.

"Believe and you'll understand"
"Seek and you'll understand"
"Believe."

The Buddha is in the mirror.
Le Buddha, on voit dans le mirroir.
El buddha está en el espejo.

Waiting, for something.
What?

Will the boat leave before I start?
No, but it feels like the beautiful ones are already there,
Am I holding up the boat?
No, but I think I am.

17.10.03
Kobe!
16.10.03
Hehe, D-fence! D-fence!
15.10.03
Ups follow downs. -Remember it.
Sometimes I wonder if I really have changed, on the inside. Where was I a year ago, a month ago, a week ago? Have I made steps since then? What steps am I taking now?
14.10.03
I can finally remember my reocurring dream themes...It's kinda like the movie Signs. There's aliens who inhabit planet Earth, and they're starting to pick people off. They can dig around underground to find people (like Tremors) and pop up to grab you and devour you.

So, not every dream is the same, but I've had this dream quite often and it's usually heart-pounding to whomever I am in the dream. Usually I'm in the 3rd-person in the dream, it's like I'm really engrossed in it at the movie theater and just can't pull my eyes away from it, and other times I'm in the 1st-person and I am actually the one being chased.

So, this last dream, "we" (i don't know the "we" in this group, but it's a group of friends) have established a way of communication with the aliens. It's like a game to them, learning how to get us. They're really smart and learn ways to capture humans. (Of course, coming up underneath them, opening a hole in the ground, and swallowing them up, is a pretty good idea, but since they have that and the added bonus that they can also come up over ground is scary too.) So, we've established a communication, or at least listening in, and someone is running around shoes on the wrong foot, to see what the reactions are of the alien. Doo, de, dooo.

And then it's dark, so we all head in, still maintaining a listening-in. People are doing the normal thing, since we know where the alien is...for some reason it's telling us or it just speaks as it moves...and we can "relax" people are generally fiestaing, even though the alien is just outside the house.

The house is a small one, like the one's you find in the older suburbs, a big lawn, smallish back yard, but small house, no 2nd floor or basement, a living room, bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen. Small.

It's still hunting, and we're acting like it's normal, people talking. I don't understand why people aren't more alert and afraid. People not being afraid are causing me to be fearful. (Control Freak in me coming out?) Then all of a sudden, when _____ is in the shower, the monster decides to attack and comes up in the shower. ____ runs away, monster goes back down into the ground, follows her to the place she ran, and pops up again. She runs from place to place barely escaping, but no one's helping her. ____ is...

Then I woke up. Stupid scraping outside going on.
13.10.03
Sigh...a lot of stuff to do...spanish is not killing me, but i could use a break from school, right NOW!
12.10.03
So after a full week's worth of activities I had about 3 hours last night to relax...and it was playing a mind-testing game...in other words...Scrabble!

So, basically this is now week 3.5 of no relaxation. I think that's the last time I went to the beach to relax...3.5 weeks ago. Now it's time again to do homework and I can't...there's just so much going on.

Hil and I just talked over MSN about problems with friends. It seems like she's having the same problems I had with WB last year during the summer. People not calling to tell you what's going on...and I guess it seems like she just needs the courage to talk. I'm happy that I was able to help her out...but this time, I wish I could actually call her and talk to her.

It would be the most ideal.

Now, for other stuff...Identity had a great week...
Tuesday...the dialogue was great.
Wednesday...the movie was warm...but sparsely attended, still good though.
Thursday...the lounge was wonderful...we had 75 by the time we finished and I 'came out' in front of people...publicly! That was cool.
Friday...OMG...this is now a freshmen thing to do the drag. The sound set-up sucked...dunno why...but it did...and so, we weren't able to have as much fun. But it was still hilarious to see how badly men can try to act as women. (not womem, mind you).

I feel like the Identity club is one that will grow this next year.

We're going to have a club dialouge meeting tomorrow (monday)...so let's hope people will come.

Identity: Dialouge a lot, play hard!

Other stuff...
Classes:
Spanish is getting tougher...i can't concentrate in it.
Lit is okay...i just got back my paper...a 9/20. Not bad for a first JPK paper...thank god it wasn't that bad.
AMEX is fun...but it killed me to go to the election place...i was out of it the night after the special election counting.
Calc is boring...i'm kinda not there, i can't concentrate.
Chinese is kicking my butt but in a good way...i'm learning stuff, at a pace that is probably insane for most people...and yet, somehow I still manage.
Work:
Just starting this last week...i feel like this is where i'm really flaking out. Hopefully it'll get better as soon as I find my groove.

Sleep...not enough, but still managing.
Exercise...what exercise? I need to get back on track with that.
7.10.03
Have you ever felt like you've been picked up by a tornado and you just can't find the ground?

Welll...that's been like my last 5 days or something. Friday...Classes...and oh my shit! Identity needs to do stuff for the Come Out! Week. Add to that the fact that EF is resistant to the week, for a reason I don't know why...something to do with heart-to-heart connections or other...and just a lot of stuff that I don't have the time to deal with just right now...I have to do the Coming Out Week stuff. Of course, we're going to try to improve, but we have an amazing schedule already set...we just need to have stuff plugged in.

At the same time, I'm doing the newspaper....which, right now isn't much, but it's still, like a lot. Eventhough I'm doing very little. Office hours.

Plus, there's regular schoolwork...I feel like the chinese monster is going to get me...just like in the movie "Dreamcatcher"...a big "chomp" and I'm gone.
2.10.03
Uhh....duh?
HAH! Denver isn't THAT prude...but when you speak of colorado...
25$ a week!
Must remember to pay parents insurance; and stop spending money!
I'm afraid to look at my bank account.
HoW do YOu SHoW CiRCLeneSs?
Michelle Branch - Are You Happy Now? (reminds me of Natalie Imbruglia's first CD).
Hunger! Breakfast, in a few...