31.12.07

2007 - the year of advancement and victory

We're nearing the final hours of the year 2007.

So, let's review my determinations and goals. See which ones became important to me and which ones were not.

Accomplishments in bold. Partial accomplishments in italics

1. I want to have a victory every day; 365 victories for 365 days.
2. On my birthday, I want to have a 32” waist (Levi size). [34" - but i have a gut hanging out again :S]
3. Every week, I want to share this Buddhism with someone new every week. [More than I have in my life, but still not daily, not even weekly. Monthly]
4. I want to maintain and grow connections with all my friends.
5. This year, I want to read 12 classics; one for every month.
6. I want to read all of the Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Vol 1 & 2
7. I want to read all of the volumes of the Human Revolution and the New Human Revolution.
8. I desire to be the wisest person in all of the land.
9. I want to taste victory at work.
10. I want to see the unlimited growth of Aliso Creek chapter and its districts.
11. I want to be someone who Ikeda Sensei can depend on after he dies. - He told us in the BSG 2007 FNCC conference that he trusts us as the core of the YD of USA.
12. I want to support the growth of Soka University.
13. I want to support the growth of the alumni of SUA.
14. I want to forge a relationship with my mom and dad of solid trust and care.
15. I want to support my obaachan in her golden years.
16. During their study abroads, I want to support both my brothers.
17. I want to firmly ingrain the desire to challenge all at hand.
18. In the summer, I want to travel to Cambodia and India.
19. I want to lay the foundation for my post-graduate schooling.
20. I want to have a long term relationship. I found a guy I like. It's getting there.
21. I want to respond to my mentor daily. Weekly, in all honesty.
22. I want to challenge myself to do 1 million daimoku by 27 May 2007: Class of 2007’s graduation day. - I kick myself in the pants for not doing this.
23. I want to encourage one person to join the SGI. - I did encourage one person, but I didn't get them to join; let's try again next year.
24. I want to feel compassion for everyone. - I still want to.
25. I want to find the excitement in post-graduate, working life. - I advanced.
26. I want to build strong life-long relationships with people wherever I go. - I'm trying more and more.
27. I want to visit my friends around the US, at least once this year. - I've laid the foundation down to visit my closest friends.
28. I want to visit with my friends in Barcelona within 18 months. - Barcelona seems like such a long time away. I wonder if I'll go back. I want to.
29. I want to meet the man of my life in the next year. - Is he the man of my life? I don't know. But I've found quite a few guys I'd love to have around for the next year of my life.
30. I want to develop faith like water. - Still working on it.
31. I want to challenge my self physically, mentally, spiritually; becoming stronger.
32. In all aspects of my life, I will advance and have daily victories.
33. By 31 March 2007, I will slash my credit card debt to $0. - But it's back.
34. I will chant 3 million daimoku in the year 2007. - is this too much?
35. At the end of the year, I will have 8~10% body fat. *(around 170lbs) - Is this too small? No.
36. By December, I will report to Ikeda Sensei that I completed all my goals for the year. - I'll write tomorrow at the kaikan!
37. Every month, I will surprise even myself in the victories I have amassed in my chapter.
38. I seek to have an open heart and open mind to all. - I still need to open my mind and seek a lot more.
39. I will bloom.
40. I will live as a Bodhisattva and Buddha do.
41. I will strengthen myself to have the energy, time, and strength to do all above.
42. I will live the year 2007, without regret. - Less regrets than last year.
43. I will be a fearless champion of discussion. - Chanting more to elevate my life.
44. I will be the lion of Aliso Creek Chapter.
45. I will develop my intellect, my capacity for feeling, and determination to truth.
46. I will see things as they are. - Developing my 'sight'.
47. I will become the most creative person to have worked in IT.
48. I will to bring beauty, fulfillment, and truth to my work.
49. I will visit Seattle and Jessica, Sammi and Central Florida, and Ryo and Chicago. - I went to Seattle. I will see Sammi and Ryo, I think, for Cass' Wedding!
50. I will determine to read all of the Living Buddhisms and World Tribunes from cover to cover, the week and day I receive them. - Reading, reading, reading.
51. I will change the course of humanity, this year.
52. I will be the strongest, most honest, and happiest gay man that any of my friends know.
53. I will challenge political growth, this year. - It's not an election year just yet, and I still know who I will vote for.
54. Within this year, I never will stop with any momentum I have. - We're rolling rolling rolling.
55. I will to develop myself to my fullest capacity. - Developing.
56. I will to see the impossible become possible. - Possibly-ing.
57. I will inspire the impossible to become possible in others.
58. By, 19 June 2007—the anniversary of my hiring—I will have changed the direction of SUA-IT’s HelpDesk.
59. I want to be cognizant throughout the year 2007 of all my actions.
60. Wherever I am in the year 2007, I want to be at the forefront, the vanguard.
61. I want to challenge all the devils and demons, challenge my negative karma and negative decisions, past and present.
62. I want to find truth in everyone, respect it, and incorporate it in my life.
63. I want to enjoy the smallest and grandest moments in life.
64. I want to fill pages and pages with my grandmother’s story.
65. I will make the growth of the SGI-USA in Fort Collins happen, with my daimoku here, and the support of my friends with my voice.
66. I want to be a shining example for anyone in how to live their life.
67. I will home visit all the members in my chapter in January.
68. I will interact and get to know all the members in my chapter every month.
69. I will put $2400 into my retirement account in 2007. ($200 per month).
70. Every month, I will put $100 into my high-yield savings account.
71. By December 2007, I will find the graduate school I want to apply to.
72. By January 1 2008, I will have saved $1500 for a new car.
7.10.07

A breath, to muse upon the bsg and my life right now.

I am here. Hear me now! This is real. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing's going to stand in my way!

The wind is blowing all around me
But I'm still standing strong
My voice is getting louder and louder
And louder
So u can hear me sing my song

I am here. Hear me now! This is real. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing's going to stand in my way!

My life will never be the same
Because nothing's going to stand in my way
-Jennifer Paskow, "Unstoppable" (Finale)

Because I have a moment to breathe.

I love the SGI-USA. With appreciation for all the training I've had this past year, in 2007, I have to appreciate all my comrades-in-faith: my CIFs :P. They have more impact on me that even CEOs or CIOs or CFOs. My CIFs. Kansha first.

So, my week's been long, but oddly, I'm able to step back a bit and try to enjoy parts of my life--or actually not do BSG activites all weekend. Really September was just amazing in the amount of BSG activities I was involved in. I want others to really understand what the training of BSG is for--to really challenge the core of what you believe you are and what you are capable of. I think Sensei said that the BSG are the core of the YD and i'm beginning to understand what he means.

October is seemingly less 'continuous momentous challenge' as far as BSG is concerned--at least according to me. I'm going to be sending out an e-mail in a bit about the BSG--knowing that many of these guys want to see the performance at the festival next weekend, I actually really want to see the performance. Really, really, really. But, I know that at the heart of what it means to be in the Soka Gakkai is to do what Sensei would do is to support the members and guests at the event. To be BSG is to try and see, think, and act as Sensei would. Really, it's the foundation of the mentor-disciple spirit for many YMD and YWD.

Trivial thought of the blog: did you know that if you take one letter out of 'life' it becomes 'lie'?

My self-censored thought of the week: I don't have secrets, you just haven't asked.

My appreciative thought of the week: I am appreciative that we decided to move out of Laguna Summit when we did. Diana and I were protected in many aspects of our decision to move.
4.10.07

The melody in my brain goes a bit like ...

So, sanshoshima are attacking. And boy do they know where to attack.

There's pride, ego, and arrogance. And then there's my finances.

The previous apartment that I lived in charged my debit account with the regular monthly $1575 that I would've been charged, if I still lived there. I also cut a check for the new apartment's first month's rent of $595. Somewhere between rock-bottom on my checking account and even further in the red, I had a moment of clarity tonight while chanting--sansho shima knows where I am weakest very well.

I checked my account last night and to my astonishment there was negative balance in my account Actually like negative $780 in balance.

Apparently, I need to cancel that Automatic Debit.

Plus, I just saw that that rent check for the new place is about to go through. I'm headed to the office tomorrow to explain why it's not going to come through and see if I can't work something out. I'm also chanting so that I can talk with the right people tomorrow at Laguna Summit's corporate office. But i'm feeling less confident with them--looking up the information on R. W. Selby & Company on Google gives me less hope for a quick resolution. Western Property Management shows up with a better BBB score. Which looks better, on paper.

Sigh. Sansho shima, I hate you.
26.9.07

Lists on break

Four jobs I have had in my life:

  1. Lunch bag assembler for firefighters (during the Summer of Fire in Colorado)
  2. Car-washer
  3. Courtesy Clerk
  4. IT HelpDesk frontline technician

Four places I have lived:

  1. Fort Collins, CO
  2. Barcelona, Catalunya, Spain
  3. Aliso Viejo, CA
  4. Laguna Niguel, CA

Four TV shows I like to watch:

  1. Ugly Betty



Four places I have been on vacation:

  1. Regensburg (DE-Germany)
  2. Granada, Andalucia (ES-Spain)
  3. Zushi-shi, Kanagawa-ken (JP-Japan)
  4. Paso Robles, CA (USA)

Four of my favorite foods:

  1. Samosas & Curry
  2. Dim Sum (esp Chicken Feet)
  3. Sushi
  4. Pizze italiane

Four places I would rather be right now:

  1. Hiking
  2. Dancing at a bar/club
  3. Doing Soka Group

Four places I like to shop

  1. H&M or Zara (difficult choice)
  2. Target
  3. Ikea
  4. Urban Outfitters
16.9.07

....it's only mid-month!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's been such a long month already. I can't believe how much i've been doing related to bsg activities. diana agrees.

it's really been that long of a month.

I think i've been 'seeing' someone for almost 6 weeks now. this is weird.
7.9.07

as i have a moment to breathe

I'm relishing in the moment. I forgot how fast-paced the beginning of semester can be. People coming in and out, calls all the time, balancing between Dell and HCY. It's amazing that this pace can be sustained until the next summer.
29.8.07

Daily Tip: When you know you're getting older...(maturity?)

I'm listening to the "throw-back lunch" on Area 93 from home. I feel old. They're playing songs every once in a while that I remember as a kid listening to and singing along with. I feel older every time that happens.
26.8.07

time to think

It's been really nice to have time to think. I feel like i've been busy with activities, but at the same time, I'm being more and more consistent with my practice. The funk of summer 2007--the inconsistency from week to week in my practice, emotions, and all other aspects of life--seems to have receded. But, I'm realising more and more that it means that I have to work hard to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

I enjoyed dinner with Justin and Sachiko--who's spending the next few days at our apartment--we had Hiyashi ramen/chuka soba. It was good. Had pomegranate chocolate chip ice cream for dessert. Oishi! Very good.

Justin and I talked about the future of the chapter and set goals. it was nice to sit down and start planning out our thing. So far what I have down is that:
(1) Shakubuku, member care and guest care (soka care).
(2) Connect with non-student YMD members
(3) Daimoku--chanting daily and tosos weekly.

I think those are three solid areas to work on.

It's nice to really sit and think about what to do in your life--it puts things into perspective.

I received an e-mail forward from Daito a few days back as well--from Nathan G.--reporting a victory for kosen-rufu that members in SE Virginia created. I was thoroughly impressed. It spurred on my desire to help connect the guests that we've had in the past years in my district and chapter to the organization and strengthen that bond--the bond of members, the bond of mentor and disciple.

Living life patiently...confidence and patience.
21.8.07

j'ai fini

J'ai fini, c'est pas "je suis fini." Aunque pienso unos dias al final del dia laboral--he muerto.

Today was pretty good--at least as far as work is concerned--it was quite quiet. It's making me stir-crazy kind of. But all is good. Plans for Labor day weekend are coming together. I don't know about anything on the plans for Uyennie, but I hope those come together soon.

I would love to say g'bye to her, even if I don't see her often, it's more as if she's going to be leaving for a while and I won't be able to just call her up to go out and do something. Thus, I'm sad.

I'm realizing a lot of those people around me are leaving for other places--for their dreams. I'm happy that they're going. That also means, that there's now space for more local people in my life now too. Sad, but I now have to make more friends from around here, becoming more and more townie and not in the FoCo sense of 'townie.' (Beware! I may start making my hair look like something from DragonBall Zed, if I become too townie.)
17.8.07

sitting here at work on friday five minutes before i have to jet

i was thinking...

that the mountains here are beautiful, because I still get to see mountains. Though the montains aren't the same as on the Front Range and that usually you can't see them because the greenery they've installed here blocks the way and that you have smog that usually obscures the view. At least I have two whole peaks to look at, every once in a while.

Obviously, i'm starving for mountains.

It's amazing how much your life feels different when your practice is regular and when it's not. it's like building upon quicksand or building upon bedrock.

on one hand, it's nice to make jokes. on the other hand, wit can be a time-bomb which bites your ass when you least expect it.
13.8.07

things, things, things!

So, i haven't written in this for a long time.

A combination of doing a lot of things leading to an intense July and travelling back home for early August.

Lots going on, but not much movement. Some moments in the past 6~8 weeks have been pure bliss and utter tiredness. It feels like my life has grown in ways I can't explain yet, or may never be able to. At the sametime, I'm feeling like I'm losing grip on what I'm aiming for.

One thing that was inspiring to me--considering all the chatter that has been going on in the SGI about the Second Act of Global Kosen-Rufu--is what it means to have my own Second Act. I was reading the Human Revolution at home and one of the characters had a realisation about herself--that she complained alot to her leaders about members or fellow leaders. She made the determination to stop complaining about the people in her life. I want to make that a determination for the "Second Act" of my life as well.

I've turned 23 this year. It's an amazing time to be living in this world--for both good and bad. For the bad, we can turn on the television and see how bleak the picture is in our world. For the good, you turn to your friends and see the hope that they have for their own futures--even if they can't explain what they are.

Hmm...stuff to ponder...and write it out.
28.7.07

songs that have recently infected my dancing mind

michael gray - the weekend [again, lest we forget about barcelona's plethora of men dancing to this song]
michael gray ft steve edwards - somewhere beyond
bob sinclar ft steve edwards - world, hold on
bob sinclar - love generation
27.6.07

Amazing

"Therefore, it is no longer acceptable for anybody to compromise their dreams. It is no longer acceptable that you just accept suffering as your reality. You know, and sometimes, it's subtle. Sometimes, It's subtle. You know. It just seems like maybe things aren't changing. So we can easily fall pray to just buying that this the best that it's gonna it get. This new departure is a new departure for every single one of us. to wake up the faith of a brand new member inside of us. To look at the gohonzon with fresh new eyes of possibility, to really seak out our mentor. To study everything that he's writing right now trying to teach us the amazing power of our faith. to study the gosho. And I think it means also, that we will support each other in faith, support each other in terms of really being there and encouraging each other to never retreat, to never give in to any obstacle and to realize what president Ikeda said in March of this year, he said, "sincere earnest prayer is the quickest route to accomplishing anything." Prayer is the source of our strength, prayer is the source of our power. So it's really returning to prayer, not the strategy of our head first, the strategy of prayer first. and that when we really pray sincerely for, what do i need to do to change this problem. that wisdom is inside of us, it's always has been. but it needs that sort of sincere prayer." -Linda Johnson 2007.6.24. Amazing!
30.5.07

Two weeks later

All I can say is that I appreciate succinct-ness. The graduation was a success. The timing was great as far as the Behind-the-screens groups will think. The invited/keynote speaker was dry, but interesting, and also the students were awesome as B9 rocked the house. I was emotional and I'm feeling unable to process my feelings.

I'm sad to see all leave. I don't know how it will be that we all will meet again--and I guess that's where I leave most of my feelings.

To the class of 2007: you are forever in my hearts as a sexy, vibrant, and great class. I know some feel as if there were some problems unifying, but, from the outside, I think you guys understand each other on a deeper level and don't have to worry about the cliques. I am in awe of your collective intelligence. I wish you guys the best, I'm forever in support of you guys. I have learned so much from you all and I can only wish to repay a little bit of the much that I have taken from you.

It's difficult to say goodbye, for me the words never come out. Please know that you had an effect on me. I will always remember you and I will never give up on you.
16.5.07

Mushy brains

I saw this and had to post it somewhere. "Homophobia: the irrational fear that fags will break into your house and redecorate it against your will."
1.4.07

314. exhausted

I don't think I've been this tired in so long. Enjoyed myself as much as I could at Masako's going-away party. I hope that I'll see her again soon. I love the family atmosphere at Soka Gakkai meetings. It's always those who are most supportive you see, of course, but at the same time, it's comradeship--in challenging that which you doubt can be challenged--that really makes the feeling whole and true.
I'm attempting to do what I haven't done in so long--chant a lot and chant with feeling, meaning, and purpose. The chanting is so that I feel, make meaning, create value, and have purpose in life. I'm feeling in a rut. I need to challenge all that I can.
Throat hurts, will try to get to work without any incident. Thus, I sleep now.
31.3.07

813.the moon

I saw the moon for the first time in a while a couple days back. I never realised how much the moon is brighter when it's out as the sun is setting. The sheer whiteness of the moon's surface stood out in the dusky blue sky. It was a sight I won't forget.

I love it when you are just in the moment--wherever it maybe: walking down a path, respiring deeply, alone, with someone, or whatever, but just in that moment.
29.3.07

musically. 301.

the days are now to the point where I'm sick. Ugh.

Sore throat, mild fever, sinuses working funky, and then the dull aches everywhere.

I'm glad I'm young.

It doesn't hurt me that much to work through this, but I'm off to bed now, so that's still a sign I'm not totally recovering yet.

=S

food for thought

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-kramer20mar20,0,1705133.story?coll=la-opinion-rightrail

Why do straights hate gays?

An 72-year-old gay activist isn't hopeful about the future.
By Larry Kramer
LARRY KRAMER is the founder of the protest group ACT UP and the author of "The Tragedy of Today's Gays."

March 20, 2007

DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE,

Why do you hate gay people so much?

Gays are hated. Prove me wrong. Your top general just called us immoral. Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some fighting for our country in Iraq. A right-wing political commentator, Ann Coulter, gets away with calling a straight presidential candidate a faggot. Even Garrison Keillor, of all people, is making really tacky jokes about gay parents in his column. This, I guess, does not qualify as hate except that it is so distasteful and dumb, often a first step on the way to hate. Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama tried to duck the questions that Pace's bigotry raised, confirming what gay people know: that there is not one candidate running for public office anywhere who dares to come right out, unequivocally, and say decent, supportive things about us.

Gays should not vote for any of them. There is not a candidate or major public figure who would not sell gays down the river. We have seen this time after time, even from supposedly progressive politicians such as President Clinton with his "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays in the military and his support of the hideous Defense of Marriage Act. Of course, it's possible that being shunned by gays will make politicians more popular, but at least we will have our self-respect. To vote for them is to collude with them in their utter disdain for us.

Don't any of you wonder why heterosexuals treat gays so brutally year after year after year, as your people take away our manhood, our womanhood, our personhood? Why, even as we die you don't leave us alone. What we can leave our surviving lovers is taxed far more punitively than what you leave your (legal) surviving spouses. Why do you do this? My lover will be unable to afford to live in the house we have made for each other over our lifetime together. This does not happen to you. Taxation without representation is what led to the Revolutionary War. Gay people have paid all the taxes you have. But you have equality, and we don't.

And there's no sign that this situation will change anytime soon. President Bush will leave a legacy of hate for us that will take many decades to cleanse. He has packed virtually every court and every civil service position in the land with people who don't like us. So, even with the most tolerant of new presidents, gays will be unable to break free from this yoke of hate. Courts rule against gays with hateful regularity. And of course the Supreme Court is not going to give us our equality, and in the end, it is from the Supreme Court that such equality must come. If all of this is not hate, I do not know what hate is.

Our feeble gay movement confines most of its demands to marriage. But political candidates are not talking about — and we are not demanding that they talk about — equality. My lover and I don't want to get married just yet, but we sure want to be equal.

You must know that gays get beaten up all the time, all over the world. If someone beats you up because of who you are — your race or ethnic origin — that is considered a hate crime. But in most states, gays are not included in hate crime measures, and Congress has refused to include us in a federal act.

Homosexuality is a punishable crime in a zillion countries, as is any activism on behalf of it. Punishable means prison. Punishable means death. The U.S. government refused our requests that it protest after gay teenagers were hanged in Iran, but it protests many other foreign cruelties. Who cares if a faggot dies? Parts of the Episcopal Church in the U.S. are joining with the Nigerian archbishop, who believes gays should be put in prison. Episcopalians! Whoever thought we'd have to worry about Episcopalians?

Well, whoever thought we'd have to worry about Florida? A young gay man was just killed in Florida because of his sexual orientation. I get reports of gays slain in our country every week. Few of them make news. Fewer are prosecuted. Do you consider it acceptable that 20,000 Christian youths make an annual pilgrimage to San Francisco to pray for gay souls? This is not free speech. This is another version of hate. It is all one world of gay-hate. It always was.

Gays do not realize that the more we become visible, the more we come out of the closet, the more we are hated. Don't those of you straights who claim not to hate us have a responsibility to denounce the hate? Why is it socially acceptable to joke about "girlie men" or to discriminate against us legally with "constitutional" amendments banning gay marriage? Because we cannot marry, we can pass on only a fraction of our estates, we do not have equal parenting rights and we cannot live with a foreigner we love who does not have government permission to stay in this country. These are the equal protections that the Bill of Rights proclaims for all?

Why do you hate us so much that you will not permit us to legally love? I am almost 72, and I have been hated all my life, and I don't see much change coming.

I think your hate is evil.

What do we do to you that is so awful? Why do you feel compelled to come after us with such frightful energy? Does this somehow make you feel safer and legitimate? What possible harm comes to you if we marry, or are taxed just like you, or are protected from assault by laws that say it is morally wrong to assault people out of hatred? The reasons always offered are religious ones, but certainly they are not based on the love all religions proclaim.

And even if your objections to gays are religious, why do you have to legislate them so hatefully? Make no mistake: Forbidding gay people to love or marry is based on hate, pure and simple.

You may say you don't hate us, but the people you vote for do, so what's the difference? Our own country's democratic process declares us to be unequal. Which means, in a democracy, that our enemy is you. You treat us like crumbs. You hate us. And sadly, we let you.
18.3.07

Musically. 300.

This weekend has been one of the most 'recovering' weekends that I've had in a while.

Yesterday, went out for drinks in honor of Saint Patrick and then to the Boom for a relatively enjoyable time. I'm glad that I went out. It's something that I've neglected to do in a while; tested my drink tolerance. Best 'drunk' drink ever..."Adiós Motherfucker." I wish I could've been drunker though. That was not enough alcohol. I'm glad to have the genetics I have, though the "dark, mysterious, rebelious" side in me wants to test how drunk I can get, just so that my tongue can be loose enough to say the words I'd like exactly to say. Hmm....how drunk is that? Cuz, last time I tried that, I passed out before that happened.

Went and saw Babel yesterday as well. It was a bit too much of a movie for me to try after going to the pool, I think. The arching question that the movie's, obviously--just look at the title, trying to tackle is the inability to communicate. I tried to understand what Iñaritú was attempting to tackle, but I didn't really get it. Perhaps, that´s the point of the film. I don't know if that's what Inaritu was going for; I doubt it, because that's not really seemingly the type of thing that he would do. So, I figure that I'm just not able to understand what he was trying to weave together when I saw it yesterday.

The pool was nice, I now have the beginnings of a Speedo tan, gotta get a smaller speedo by the way.

Before that I went to do a Soka group shift in the morning for the March 16th celebration. I'm realizing that I need training--like the kind offered in S-group--in my life. Inaction breeds problems, especially when you notice but do nothing to help the situation. Confidence: "Please, let me help you." Instead of "can I help you?"

Today, went to watch 300. So far, I loved the promotions for the movie--they're absolutely hot. In addition, the story of Sparta's 300 men at Thermopylae is unbelieveable, and the story is so well woven, I couldn't help but be in visual awe of the movie. Derek was disappointed, the girls--Utsumi and Tinki--seemed to be in 'meh'. This story is world famous and to me, it seemed to be at times relatable to another movie I enjoy--Hero (YingXiong) the HK version with Jet Li. The destiny of a nation (a country, a people) could be decided by one.

Awesome.

Jumping around.

7.3.07

singing in the rain

I live, singing in the rain. well, I live, singing in my head.

The tune that goes "bop badda doo dah ba-shoop bam doo." and "Bitch, please (snap snap snap) I'm from colorado." and "To the rescue. Here I am. I'm a rainbow too."

Tiredness abounds. Sleeping 6 hours tonight, 5 yesterday, a few the day before.

I need to sleep more. But 6 is enuf.
6.3.07

depth of tiredness

Yesterday I slept 15 hours straight. Went to bed at 5ish yesterday and woke up at around 7am. Wow!

today, i'm posting a blog at 1:30, and I need to wake up at around 6. Let's say "yay!"
1.3.07

11:34PM

There's a lot going on at work. Nothing to complain about. I have more responsibility and I'm handling things with more grace than I would've thought possible 6 months ago. I'm putting forth my best foot right now.

In my SGI activities, I'm really setting myself up to be challenged and to challenge myself.

In my personal life, I feel the desire to have victory, but I'm not doubt-free after I stop chanting. I'm strengthening my resolve to have victory with my ex and with another person whom I really like but cannot let go. I'm hoping beyond hope right now to not only find the person who will help me grow right now, but also to grow as I do so. I'm realizing more and more I'm exactly where I need to be in so many things--I cannot be happier in that respect, because if I weren't where I am now, it would mean I haven't gotten this far yet.

Looking at the brighter side of life and now I'm reaching to do more than just digest what I see, feel, hear, and sense, but to comprehend it--to have comprehension.

March 16th is around the corner. i hope to have a victory this year in terms of introducing friends to this faith. I want to become a shakubuku king (or even a queen!).

開始の時です!

It is time to start something!

I'm trying to create something here. Something that means a lot to me and also means a lot to other people. Something that creates it's own creation. Something that will flow forever and will not only grow, but flourish. I want to train myself to become the most capable person I can be. I will become the most capable person I can be. I will chant for the happiness of my members. I will live the life of a disciple, a true disciple. What I want to create is not yet taking shape--but it has a name kosen-rufu amerikanus. American kosen-rufu, we only have a vague idea of what it is. but we know it exists somewhere out there. I'm a researcher on the hunt for it. I only see its footprints, but I'm on its trail and I know that I am closer day-by-day.
27.2.07

March 16

March 16 is just about 2 weeks away. I'm wondering what the district and chapter can do in support of the youth division.
I feel a hole in the leadership beside me. As well as my incapability in my leadership position. My determination is to become the best chapter leader around, yet I see the difference between where I want to be and where I am and I can't help but feel lost. My map so far is the gohonzon, the new human revolution, the human revolution, and my daimoku is my fuel.

'S all I got.
25.2.07

The golden evening silence

I've just about passed out. I'm ready for bed and yet I'm truly satisfied. I am happy to have supported the WD in their illustrious campaign to rid Orange County of misery and unhappiness. I hope that today the ESD and JHHS members we took care of at the meetings, as YMD and MD in support of our WD and YWD members, will grow up to be strong, capable leaders of Kosen-rufu. I'm living in ecstasy right now.

The silence of tonight is not one of fear, nor is it of anything that I should note. It's a happy, golden silence.

Reading my last blog from earlier in February, I realized that I miss writing in Spanish. Sorry to all those who don't read it or speak it, I haven't had time to post a translation of it. I hope to do that one day, but if I don't, then nothing is lost because I've put out there in the world, what it is that I felt on that day. You'll see what I said in that post in my actions.

Called by E.d. (cassie's) and was pleasantly surprised to know that I'll be doing the BSG support for Cassie's and Ed's wedding. Yay! I also have a 60-year-old Soka-han member as my other support. Haha. I can't believe Cassie's getting married! It's already happening--this marriage thing.

I want to get married, sooner than later. I want to start raising a family, sooner than later. I want to do so many things and yet I entertain doubt, it's actually a frequent visitor. I'm tired of it coming often to my mind, and settling in. I don't want it anymore.

Which brings me to "The Secret," do you know it? Such a new age-y scam of a dvd. What it says has always been there; I don't need some Australian to tell me it, Nichiren Daishonin, Shakyamuni Buddha, and others have been saying it for so long. But yet this dvd is still not the truth, it is just yet a fragment of the truth. It may have (dubious-sounding and -seeming) "actual proof" in it's video, but at the core of it, it isn't theoretically correct: it doesn't reveal the buddha nature inherent in our life. Thus, I can't help but disbelieve in the actual proof of it's supposed believers.

Agh. Frustration amounts...
8.2.07

夢?

No sabemos por qué soñar. Hace 3 noches, soñé ser maestro. Estuve en el colegio de mi juventud. Estuve en frente de l@s alumn@s, diciéndoles a l@s alumn@s cuáles fueron los normas de mis clases: ser puntual; ser hablador--discutir, platicar, y hablar sobre todas materias; no les faltar a los demás alumnos el respeto--ni por racismo ni por homofobia. No sé qué pensar sobre el maestrazo. Sé que no he soñado en la maestría desde hace 10 años (ó más). No sé aún hasta hoy qué pensar sobre mi sueño. Es como tengo neurosis de guerra. Me quedo con boca abierta.

Me dijó una amiga que no sabemos por qué soñamos lo que soñamos, pero sí que sabemos es que el sueño nos dice algo de nuestros deseos y lo que desea nuestro corazón (o sea, lo que es cierto es que es algo de nuestro misión). No sé en qué estoy seguro por ahora. Pero, siento super confuso. Ó, no confuso, pero no sé qué hacer como respuesta a mi sueño. Además, me preguntó ella ¿llevas mucho tiempo orando-rezando? La dije sí ¿cómo lo sabías tú?

Bueno os digo, a partir de hoy, vamos a ver lo que hago yo.
7.2.07

Diana is crazy

"Bisketti"?

"Is that like like bisque?
"Is that like like biscuits?
"Is that bruschetta without something?"

My roomie is crazy.
31.1.07

No. 800: What to say.

Well, in honor of my 800th blogger post. I really don't know what to say. Except that, it's been an interesting 5 years. The first post I had was about my roommate and his friends. Now, I'm living on my own--well with a cool roommate, so I guess I can't complain. I'm growing, delighting in meeting new and different people, encouraged by so many around me and excited for so many things that are still yet to come this year.
29.1.07

799: Celebration

http://flooredfun.blogspot.com/ - post no 799.

I want to apologize--a bit--to all my friends. I'm busy; I still appreciate all of you so much.

Just wanted to say that. Getting the feeling as if I'm losing some connection with my friends a bit. But, at the sametime, two-way streets being two ways; we just have to find that connection again. Back to that memory.

the death to the tired

Imma tte, shiawase desu.

Happy. The death to the tired.

Have a few more things to do tonight. Successfully completed Soka group in-charge. Have a few points to look for next time I do an in-charge shift. Really feel as if I broke through quite a bit yesterday.
25.1.07

Posting on break.

Posting on my break.

I don't know how the cover pages of all the newspapers look on my blog. I have a sense of indifference to myself on whether I should be doing that on THIS specific blog. It's just a little bit too much of a specific thing to do. Spin-off!

Break. Fall. Crash!

Page One: 25 January 2007

Page One: New York Times
(1) Libby Trial
(2) Iraq Plan condemned
(3) Re-imagining/re-thinking Democratic nominations with changes in the caucuses.
(4) Uranium Smuggler
(5) Police Radio problems in the City
Page One: El Periodico de Barcelona (Spain)
(1) Fomento (Interior Ministry of Catalunya) decides to invest 100Million Euros into the RENFE-Barcelona commuter rail system (Cercanias) after a succession of derailures and other accidents on the Cercanias.
24.1.07

Orange County Region's Asexual Cell Division

A bit before I go up to Daisuke's room to help do the planning for the OC Regions Kickoff, I wanted to stop in and write a note. And then i realized I don't have much to say: My typing sucks, I'm tired, and I could go on about all that isn't 'right' with my life, but for some reason, I'm happy.

I guess that's a good note, though. It just doesn't sound like it right off the bat.

Page One: 24 January 2007

Page One: The New York Times

Cover Story -- Coverage on Bush's State of the Union address
23.1.07

Page One: 23 January 2007

Page One: New York Times, National Edition (Broadsheet)

Oddly, it is surprising to see that the cover story for the national edition of the times doesn't cover the President's State of the Union address this evening, but one article on the race to become his replacement and two on his failure: public election campaign funding, yesterday's Baghdad bombings and another on Baghdad itself.

Page One: The Guardian (England) / Broadsheet (Web)

Page One: La Vanguardia (Barcelona, Spain) / Tabloid

Main story is the first snow of the season in the Barcelona Metro area.

dreams...

weird dream!

Just woke up. Screen is so bright.

I pick up Diana from Bill Gate's two story townhome in a cool, slightly Italiana (I was thinknigin Venice_-esque neighborhood. Don't ask me how an Italian caffe and a townhome comlex are on teh same piazza!? I know, my brain, is funny. While I'm waiting, I look around Bill Gates' home. It's all nice, but I've seen it before.

Diana gets done with whatever she's doing there. It's like a conference for special people--you know, where people get to come to someone's house and learn about something, but you don't know what it is. Sounds like the beginnings of a suspense or horromr movie1

The next day, I decide to sign-up and check out Bill Gates' house. Somehow, we drive from wherever Dianaand I live to Redmond WA. Was a longer drive, but, manageable, beautiful country. It's like we live in Seattle, but don't.

They start a DVD, and it loooks like that is all with the presentation. Somehow around 20 people are sitting in someone's bedrooom watching this DVD. It's rather odd that so many ar ein the room, but I just play it off. After about 10 minutes, I decide to go off and explore the electronic equipment, press some butttons, around thehouse. Meanwhile, as I play, I keep on interspersing my actions with "security camera" shots of me playing around the house, BUT WITH DRAMATIC LIGHTING. Heh, I'm such a techie...

Just playing with the light panels around the house. Go back, find that not much has changeed, return to take a seat at the bed, feeling as if I've steppped into a cult meeting, signlently agree.

We walk out of Bill Gates' townhome, and parked right outside is a green Focus, the boi standing outside is a skinny later 20s looking caucasian--Eastern European-looking man in a black jacket on his cellphone (I did it, I admit, elevator eyes). He gives me the eye roll and I move on. We're parked in the second spot from the door and I comment on how lucky we are. For some reason I got go put stuff in the passenger back side door--right next to the boi--hehehe--I get to show off the ass that he was not gonna end up tapping that night--(in my best paris hilton impression, god, i'm such a whore-bitch. Diana gets into the drivers side, I tell her to get out, we bicker a bit--much like my brothers and I bicker. I look out the door I entered from, move out the drivers rear-side door, look over to the italian caffe right next to Bill Gates' townhome and see a heavy-set, caucasian man with a receding hair-line eating a hearty panini-looking sandwich.

And then Diana falls out of the driver's front door as I open the door to get her out.

Wake-up!
22.1.07

Odes? to the Method soap bottle in my bathroom

Oh Method soap bottle in my bathroom!
How you displease me so, every once in a while!
This morning, for example.
Grr!

In my hazey dazey wake-up,
I push down on your top,
Out cums soap,
At high-speed.

It lands not gently in my hand,
but lands quite on my pants.
Grr!
It looks like I came on my pants.

Page One: 22 January 2007

New York Times: 22.jan.2007

The cover story focuses on the early start to the 2008 presidential campaign. Focused at the beginning mainly on the field of eight Democratic candidates for the Dem. nomination, this article starts of questioning the ability for candidates *for the nomination* to be able to raise enough money to maintain a campaign throughout the months ahead to the Democratic nomination in Denver. Furthermore, the article digs at the underlying question of whether this is at all good for "voter choice" in the end: the more money involved, the more it is likely to be a match of campaign fund-raising and fund-spending.
17.1.07

what we need

we need a bull-dyke, black, lesbian president in 2008. A centrist at that!
7.1.07

NYT: Little Asia on the Hill/Timothy Egan



January 7, 2007
Little Asia on the Hill
By TIMOTHY EGAN
WHEN Jonathan Hu was going to high school in suburban Southern California, he rarely heard anyone speaking Chinese. But striding through campus on his way to class at the University of California, Berkeley, Mr. Hu hears Mandarin all the time, in plazas, cafeterias, classrooms, study halls, dorms and fast-food outlets. It is part of the soundtrack at this iconic university, along with Cantonese, English, Spanish and, of course, the perpetual jackhammers from the perpetual construction projects spurred by the perpetual fund drives.
“Here, many people speak Chinese as their primary language,” says Mr. Hu, a sophomore. “It’s nice. You really feel like you don’t stand out.”
Today, he is iPod-free, a rare condition on campus, taking in the early winter sun at the dour concrete plaza of the Free Speech Movement Cafe, named for the protests led by Mario Savio in 1964, when the administration tried to muzzle political activity. “Free speech marks us off from the stones and stars,” reads a Savio quote on the cafe wall, “just below the angels.”
There are now mostly small protests, against the new chain stores invading Telegraph Avenue, just outside the campus entrance, and to save the old oak trees scheduled for removal so the football stadium can be renovated. The biggest buzz on Telegraph one week was the grand opening of a chain restaurant — the new Chipotle’s, which drew a crowd of students eager to get in. The scent of patchouli oil and reefer is long gone; the street is posted as a drug-free zone.
And at least on this morning, there is very little speech of any kind inside the Free Speech Cafe; almost without exception, students are face-planted in their laptops, silently downloading class notes, music, messages. It could be the library but for the line for lattes. On mornings like this, the public university beneath the towering campanile seems like a small, industrious city of über-students in flops.
I ask Mr. Hu what it’s like to be on a campus that is overwhelmingly Asian — what it’s like to be of the demographic moment. This fall and last, the number of Asian freshmen at Berkeley has been at a record high, about 46 percent. The overall undergraduate population is 41 percent Asian. On this golden campus, where a creek runs through a redwood grove, there are residence halls with Asian themes; good dim sum is never more than a five-minute walk away; heaping, spicy bowls of pho are served up in the Bear’s Lair cafeteria; and numerous social clubs are linked by common ancestry to countries far across the Pacific.
Mr. Hu shrugs, saying there is a fair amount of “selective self-racial segregation,” which is not unusual at a university this size: about 24,000 undergraduates. “The different ethnic groups don’t really interact that much,” he says. “There’s definitely a sense of sticking with your community.” But, he quickly adds, “People of my generation don’t look at race as that big of a deal. People here, the freshmen and sophomores, they’re pretty much like your average American teenagers.”
Spend a few days at Berkeley, on the classically manicured slope overlooking San Francisco Bay and the distant Pacific, and soon enough the sound of foreign languages becomes less distinct. This is a global campus in a global age. And more than any time in its history, it looks toward the setting sun for its identity.
The revolution at Berkeley is a quiet one, a slow turning of the forces of immigration and demographics. What is troubling to some is that the big public school on the hill certainly does not look like the ethnic face of California, which is 12 percent Asian, more than twice the national average. But it is the new face of the state’s vaunted public university system. Asians make up the largest single ethnic group, 37 percent, at its nine undergraduate campuses.
The oft-cited goal of a public university is to be a microcosm — in this case, of the nation’s most populous, most demographically dynamic state — and to enrich the educational experience with a variety of cultures, economic backgrounds and viewpoints.
But 10 years after California passed Proposition 209, voting to eliminate racial preferences in the public sector, university administrators find such balance harder to attain. At the same time, affirmative action is being challenged on a number of new fronts, in court and at state ballot boxes. And elite colleges have recently come under attack for practicing it — specifically, for bypassing highly credentialed Asian applicants in favor of students of color with less stellar test scores and grades.
In California, the rise of the Asian campus, of the strict meritocracy, has come at the expense of historically underrepresented blacks and Hispanics. This year, in a class of 4809, there are only 100 black freshmen at the University of California at Los Angeles — the lowest number in 33 years. At Berkeley, 3.6 percent of freshmen are black, barely half the statewide proportion. (In 1997, just before the full force of Proposition 209 went into effect, the proportion of black freshmen matched the state population, 7 percent.) The percentage of Hispanic freshmen at Berkeley (11 percent) is not even a third of the state proportion (35 percent). White freshmen (29 percent) are also below the state average (44 percent).
This is in part because getting into Berkeley — U.S. News & World Report’s top-ranked public university — has never been more daunting. There were 41,750 applicants for this year’s freshman class of 4,157. Nearly half had a weighted grade point average of 4.0 or better (weighted for advanced courses). There is even grumbling from “the old Blues” — older alumni named for the school color — “who complain because their kids can’t get in,” says Gregg Thomson, director of the Office of Student Research.
Mr. Hu applied to a lot of colleges, but Berkeley felt right for him from the start. “It’s the intellectual atmosphere — this place is intense.”
Mr. Hu says he was pressured by a professor to go into something like medicine or engineering. “It’s a stereotype, but a lot of Asians who come here just study engineering and the sciences,” he says. “I was never interested in that.”
But as the only son of professionals born in China, Mr. Hu fits the profile of Asians at Berkeley in at least one way: they are predominantly first-generation American. About 95 percent of Asian freshmen come from a family in which one or both parents were born outside the United States.
He dashes off to class, and I wander through the serene setting of Memorial Glade, in the center of campus, and then loop over to Sproul Plaza, the beating heart of the university, where dozens of tables are set up by clubs representing every conceivable ethnic group. Out of nowhere, an a cappella group, mostly Asian men, appears and starts singing a Beach Boys song. Yes, tradition still matters in California.
ACROSS the United States, at elite private and public universities, Asian enrollment is near an all-time high. Asian-Americans make up less than 5 percent of the population but typically make up 10 to 30 percent of students at the nation’s best colleges:in 2005, the last year with across-the-board numbers, Asians made up 24 percent of the undergraduate population at Carnegie Mellon and at Stanford, 27 percent at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 14 percent at Yale and 13 percent at Princeton.
And according to advocates of race-neutral admissions policies, those numbers should be even higher.
Asians have become the “new Jews,” in the phrase of Daniel Golden, whose recent book, “The Price of Admission: How America’s Ruling Class Buys Its Way Into Elite Colleges — and Who Gets Left Outside the Gates,” is a polemic against university admissions policies. Mr. Golden, a reporter for The Wall Street Journal, is referring to evidence that, in the first half of the 20th century, Ivy League schools limited the number of Jewish students despite their outstanding academic records to maintain the primacy of upper-class Protestants. Today, he writes, “Asian-Americans are the odd group out, lacking racial preferences enjoyed by other minorities and the advantages of wealth and lineage mostly accrued by upper-class whites. Asians are typecast in college admissions offices as quasi-robots programmed by their parents to ace math and science.”
As if to illustrate the point, a study released in October by the Center for Equal Opportunity, an advocacy group opposing race-conscious admissions, showed that in 2005 Asian-Americans were admitted to the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, at a much lower rate (54 percent) than black applicants (71 percent) and Hispanic applicants (79 percent) — despite median SAT scores that were 140 points higher than Hispanics and 240 points higher than blacks.
To force the issue on a legal level, a freshman at Yale filed a complaint in the fall with the Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights, contending he was denied admission to Princeton because he is Asian. The student, Jian Li, the son of Chinese immigrants in Livingston, N.J., had a perfect SAT score and near-perfect grades, including numerous Advanced Placement courses.
“This is just a very, very egregious system,” Mr. Li told me. “Asians are held to different standards simply because of their race.”
To back his claim, he cites a 2005 study by Thomas J. Espenshade and Chang Y. Chung, both of Princeton, which concludes that if elite universities were to disregard race, Asians would fill nearly four of five spots that now go to blacks or Hispanics. Affirmative action has a neutral effect on the number of whites admitted, Mr. Li is arguing, but it raises the bar for Asians. The way Princeton selects its entering class, Mr. Li wrote in his complaint, “seems to be a calculated move by a historically white institution to protect its racial identity while at the same time maintaining a facade of progressivism.”
Private institutions can commit to affirmative action, even with state bans, but federal money could be revoked if they are found to be discriminating. Mr. Li is seeking suspension of federal financial assistance to Princeton. “I’m not seeking anything personally,” he says. “I’m happy at Yale. But I grew up thinking that in America race should not matter.”
Admissions officials have long denied that they apply quotas. Nonetheless, race is important “to ensure a diverse student body,” says Cass Cliatt, a Princeton spokeswoman. But, she adds, “Looking at the merits of race is not the same as the opposite” — discrimination.
Elite colleges like Princeton review the “total package,” in her words, looking at special talents, extracurricular interests and socioeconomics — factors like whether the applicant is the first in the family to go to college or was raised by a single mother. “There’s no set formula or standard for how we evaluate students,” she says. High grades and test scores would seem to be merely a baseline. “We turned away approximately half of applicants with maximum scores on the SAT, all three sections,” Ms. Cliatt says of the class Mr. Li would have joined.
In the last two months, the nation has seen a number of new challenges to racial engineering in schools. In November, the United States Supreme Court heard a case questioning the legality of using race in assigning students to public schools in Seattle and Louisville, Ky. Voters are also sending a message, having thrown out racial preferences in Michigan in November, following a lead taken by California, Texas, Florida and Washington. Last month, Ward Connerly, the architect of Proposition 209, announced his next potential targets for a ballot initiative, including Arizona, Colorado, Missouri and Nebraska.
When I ask the chancellor at Berkeley, Robert J. Birgeneau, if there is a perfect demographic recipe on this campus that likes to think of itself as the world’s finest public university — Harvard on the Hill — he demurs.
“We are a meritocracy,” he says. And — by law, he adds — the campus is supposed to be that way. If Asians made up, say, 70 percent of the campus, he insists, there would still be no attempt to reduce their numbers.
Asian enrollment at his campus actually began to ramp up well before affirmative action was banned.
Historically, Asians have faced discrimination, with exclusion laws in the 1800s that kept them from voting, owning property or legally immigrating. Many were run out of West Coast towns by mobs. But by the 1970s and ’80s, with a change in immigration laws, a surge in Asian arrivals began to change the complexion of California, and it was soon reflected in an overrepresentation at its top universities.
In the late 1980s, administrators appeared to be limiting Asian-American admissions, prompting a federal investigation. The result was an apology by the chancellor at the time, and a vow that there would be no cap on Asian enrollment.
University administrators and teachers use anguished words to describe what has happened since.
“I’ve heard from Latinos and blacks that Asians should not be considered a minority at all,” says Elaine Kim, a professor of Asian-American studies at Berkeley. “What happened after they got rid of affirmative action has been a disaster — for blacks and Latinos. And for Asians it’s been a disaster because some people think the campus has become all-Asian.”
The diminishing number of African-Americans on campus is a consistent topic of discussion among black students. Some say they feel isolated, without a sense of community. “You really do feel like you stand out,” says Armilla Staley, a second-year law student. In her freshman year, she was one of only nine African-Americans in a class of 265. “I’m almost always the only black person in my class,” says Ms. Staley, who favors a return to some form of affirmative action.
“Quite frankly, when you walk around campus, it’s overwhelmingly Asian,” she says. “I don’t feel any tension between Asians and blacks, but I don’t really identify with the Asian community as a minority either.”
Walter Robinson, the director of undergraduate admissions, who is African-American, has the same impression. “The problem is that because we’re so few, we get absorbed among the masses,” he says.
Chancellor Birgeneau says he finds the low proportion of blacks and Hispanics appalling, and two years into his tenure, he has not found a remedy. To broaden the pool, the U.C. system promises to admit the top 4 percent at each high school in the state and uses “comprehensive review” — considering an applicant’s less quantifiable attributes. But the net results for a campus like Berkeley are disappointing. His university, Dr. Birgeneau says, loses talented black applicants to private universities like Stanford, where African-American enrollment was 10 percent last year — nearly three times that at Berkeley.
“I just don’t believe that in a state with three million African-Americans there is not a single engineering student for the state’s premier public university,” says the chancellor, who has called for reinstating racial preferences.
One leading critic of bringing affirmative action back to Berkeley is David A. Hollinger, chairman of its history department and author of “Post-Ethnic America: Beyond Multiculturalism.” He supported racial preferences before Proposition 209, but is no longer so sure. “You could argue that the campus is more diverse now,” because Asians comprise so many different cultures, says Dr. Hollinger. A little more than half of Asian freshmen at Berkeley are Chinese, the largest group, followed by Koreans, East-Indian/Pakistani, Filipino and Japanese.
He believes that Latinos are underrepresented because many come from poor agrarian families with little access to the good schools that could prepare them for the rigors of Berkeley. He points out that, on the other hand, many of the Korean students on campus are sons and daughters of parents with college degrees. In any event, he says, it is not the university’s job to fix the problems that California’s public schools produce.
Dr. Birgeneau agrees on at least one point: “I think we’re now at the point where the category of Asian is not very useful. Koreans are different from people from Sri Lanka and they’re different than Japanese. And many Chinese-Americans are a lot like Caucasians in some of their values and areas of interest.”
IF Berkeley is now a pure meritocracy, what does that say about the future of great American universities in the post-affirmative action age? Are we headed toward a day when all elite colleges will look something like Berkeley: relatively wealthy whites (about 60 percent of white freshmen’s families make $100,000 or more) and a large Asian plurality and everyone else underrepresented? Is that the inevitable result of color-blind admissions?
Eric Liu, author of “The Accidental Asian: Notes of a Native Speaker” and a domestic policy adviser to former President Bill Clinton, is troubled by the assertion that the high Asian makeup of elite campuses reflects a post-racial age where merit prevails.
“I really challenge this idea of a pure meritocracy,” says Mr. Liu, who runs mentoring programs that grew out of his book “Guiding Lights: How to Mentor and Find Life’s Purpose.” Until all students — from rural outposts to impoverished urban settings — are given equal access to the Advanced Placement classes that have proved to be a ticket to the best colleges, then the idea of pure meritocracy is bunk, he says. “They’re measuring in a fair way the results of an unfair system.”
He also says Asian-Americans are tired of having to live up to — or defend — “that tired old warhorse of the model minority.”
“We shouldn’t be calling these studying habits that help so many kids get into good schools ‘Asian values,’ ” says Mr. Liu, himself a product of Yale College and Harvard Law School. “These are values that used to be called Jewish values or Anglo-Saxon work-ethic values. The bottom line message from the family is the same: work hard, defer gratification, share sacrifice and focus on the big goal.”
Hazel R. Markus lectures on this very subject as a professor of psychology at Stanford and co-director of its Research Institute for Comparative Studies in Race and Ethnicity. Her studies have found that Asian students do approach academics differently. Whether educated in the United States or abroad, she says, they see professors as authority figures to be listened to, not challenged in the back-and-forth Socratic tradition. “You hear some teachers say that the Asian kids get great grades but just sit there and don’t participate,” she says. “Talking and thinking are not the same thing. Being a student to some Asians means that it’s not your place to question, and that flapping your gums all day is not the best thing.”
One study at the institute looked at Asian-American students in lab courses, and found they did better solving problems alone and without conversations with other students. “This can make for some big problems,” she says, like misunderstandings between classmates. “But people are afraid to talk about these differences. And one of the fantastic opportunities of going to a Stanford or Berkeley is to learn something about other cultures, so we should be talking about it.”
As for the rise in Asian enrollment, the reason “isn’t a mystery,” Dr. Markus says. “This needs to come out and we shouldn’t hide it,” she says. “In Asian families, the No. 1 job of a child is to be a student. Being educated — that’s the most honorable thing you can do.”
BERKELEY is “Asian heaven,” as one student puts it. “When I went back East my Asian friends were like, ‘Wow, you go to Berkeley — that must be great,’ ” says Tera Nakata, who just graduated and now works in the residence halls.
You need only go to colleges in, say, the Midwest to appreciate the Asian feel of this campus. But Berkeley is freighted with the baggage of stereotypes — that it is boring socially, full of science nerds, a hard place to make friends.
“About half the students at this school spend their entire career in the library,” one person wrote in a posting on vault.com, a popular job and college search Web site.
Another wrote: “Everyone who is white joins the Greek system and everyone who isn’t joins a ‘theme house’ or is a member of a club related to race.”
There is some truth to the image, students acknowledge, but it does not do justice to the bigger experience at Berkeley. “You have the ability to stay with people who are like you and not get out of your comfort zone,” says Ms. Nakata. “But I learned a lot by mixing it up. I lived in a dorm with a lot of different races, and we would have these deep conversations all the time about race and our feelings of where we belong and where we came from.” But she also says that the “celebrate diversity aspect” of Berkeley doesn’t go deep. “We want to respect everyone’s differences, but we don’t mix socially.”
Near the end of my stay at Berkeley I met a senior, Jonathan Lee, the son of a Taiwanese father and a mother from Hong Kong. He grew up well east of Los Angeles, in the New America sprawl of fast-growing Riverside County, where his father owned a restaurant. He went to a high school where he was a minority.
“When I was in high school,” he says, “there was this notion that you’re Chinese, you must be really good in math.” But now Mr. Lee is likely to become a schoolteacher, much to the chagrin of his parents, “who don’t think it will be very lucrative.”
The story of Jon Lee’s journey at Berkeley is compelling. As president of the Asian-American Association, he has tried to dispel stereotypes of “the Dragon Lady seductress or the idea that everybody plays the piano.” His closest friends are in the club. It may seem that he has become more insular, that he has found his tribe. But Mr. Lee says he has been trying to lead other Asian students out of the university bubble. Once a week, they go into a mostly black and Hispanic middle school in the Bay Area to mentor students.
For the last five semesters, Mr. Lee has worked with one student. “I take him out for dim sum, or to Chinatown, or just talk about college and what it’s like at Cal,” he says. “We talk about race and we talk about everything. And he’s taught me a lot.”
The mentoring program came about not because of prodding by well-meaning advisers, teachers or student groups. It came about because Mr. Lee looked around at the new America — in California, the first state with no racial majority — and found that it looked very different from Berkeley. And much as he loves Berkeley, he knew that if he wanted to learn enough to teach, he needed to get off campus.
Timothy Egan reports for The Times from the West Coast. He won a 2006 National Book Award for “The Worst Hard Time: The Untold Story of Those Who Survived the Great American Dust

Reading this article, I wonder what the country has come to. How far are we along the path toward MLK, Jr's Dream? Have we progressed that much since 1964?

Bictoria en este nuebo Anyo

"Let him know that you know best
"Cause after all you do know best
"Try to slip past his defense
"Without granting innocence
"Lay down a list of what is wrong
"The things you've told him all along
"And pray to God he hears you
"And pray to God he hears you"
-The Fray How to Save a Life

"Let's rearrange
"I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
"Just say that we agree and then never change
"Soften a bit until we all just get along "
But that's disregard
"Find another friend and you discard
"As you lose the argument in a cable car
"Hanging above as the canyon comes between"
-The Fray Over My Head (Cable Car)

So, I've started a new year. I'm on my way to a victorious 2007.

I had two mini-victories and mini-advances so far: I was able to talk to Gavin and I made a committment to Soka-han for the Region Split meeting. I'm also working on my YMD committments.

Right now, slightly addicted to the Fray. Should get the disc...

"She goes left and you stay right..."

I'm happy (and there's so many others in the Front Range) to see that there's a band from here that's finally made the national stage. Some what of an ego boost and ego trip at the same time.

What I'm saying here reminds me of the BIRG effect. I'm kinda happy to see that this is not related to sports...for Coloradoans. But, on the other hand, we still have a great deal of affection for our sports teams...no matter how much they can suck at times. Reminice back to the glory days of the late 90s.
1.1.07

My manifesto

Goals for Year 2007

1. I want to have a victory every day; 365 victories for 365 days.
2. On my birthday, I want to have a 32” waist (Levi size).
3. Every week, I want to share this Buddhism with someone new every week.
4. I want to maintain and grow connections with all my friends.
5. This year, I want to read 12 classics; one for every month.
6. I want to read all of the Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Vol 1 & 2
7. I want to read all of the volumes of the Human Revolution and the New Human Revolution.
8. I desire to be the wisest person in all of the land.
9. I want to taste victory at work.
10. I want to see the unlimited growth of Aliso Creek chapter and its districts.
11. I want to be someone who Ikeda Sensei can depend on after he dies.
12. I want to support the growth of Soka University.
13. I want to support the growth of the alumni of SUA.
14. I want to forge a relationship with my mom and dad of solid trust and care.
15. I want to support my obaachan in her golden years.
16. During their study abroads, I want to support both my brothers.
17. I want to firmly ingrain the desire to challenge all at hand.
18. In the summer, I want to travel to Cambodia and India.
19. I want to lay the foundation for my post-graduate schooling.
20. I want to have a long term relationship.
21. I want to respond to my mentor daily.
22. I want to challenge myself to do 1 million daimoku by 27 May 2007: Class of 2007’s graduation day.
23. I want to encourage one person to join the SGI.
24. I want to feel compassion for everyone.
25. I want to find the excitement in post-graduate, working life.
26. I want to build strong life-long relationships with people wherever I go.
27. I want to visit my friends around the US, at least once this year.
28. I want to visit with my friends in Barcelona within 18 months.
29. I want to meet the man of my life in the next year.
30. I want to develop faith like water.
31. I want to challenge my self physically, mentally, spiritually; becoming stronger.
32. In all aspects of my life, I will advance and have daily victories.
33. By 31 March 2007, I will slash my credit card debt to $0.
34. I will chant 3 million daimoku in the year 2007.
35. At the end of the year, I will have 8~10% body fat. *(around 170lbs)
36. By December, I will report to Ikeda Sensei that I completed all my goals for the year.
37. Every month, I will surprise even myself in the victories I have amassed in my chapter.
38. I seek to have an open heart and open mind to all.
39. I will bloom.
40. I will live as a Bodhisattva and Buddha do.
41. I will strengthen myself to have the energy, time, and strength to do all above.
42. I will live the year 2007, without regret.
43. I will be a fearless champion of discussion.
44. I will be the lion of Aliso Creek Chapter.
45. I will develop my intellect, my capacity for feeling, and determination to truth.
46. I will see things as they are.
47. I will become the most creative person to have worked in IT.
48. I will to bring beauty, fulfillment, and truth to my work.
49. I will visit Seattle and Jessica, Sammi and Central Florida, and Ryo and Chicago.
50. I will determine to read all of the Living Buddhisms and World Tribunes from cover to cover, the week and day I receive them.
51. I will change the course of humanity, this year.
52. I will be the strongest, most honest, and happiest gay man that any of my friends know.
53. I will challenge political growth, this year.
54. Within this year, I never will stop with any momentum I have.
55. I will to develop myself to my fullest capacity.
56. I will to see the impossible become possible.
57. I will inspire the impossible to become possible in others.
58. By, 19 June 2007—the anniversary of my hiring—I will have changed the direction of SUA-IT’s HelpDesk.
59. I want to be cognizant throughout the year 2007 of all my actions.
60. Wherever I am in the year 2007, I want to be at the forefront, the vanguard.
61. I want to challenge all the devils and demons, challenge my negative karma and negative decisions, past and present.
62. I want to find truth in everyone, respect it, and incorporate it in my life.
63. I want to enjoy the smallest and grandest moments in life.
64. I want to fill pages and pages with my grandmother’s story.
65. I will make the growth of the SGI-USA in Fort Collins happen, with my daimoku here, and the support of my friends with my voice.
66. I want to be a shining example for anyone in how to live their life.
67. I will home visit all the members in my chapter in January.
68. I will interact and get to know all the members in my chapter every month.
69. I will put $2400 into my retirement account in 2007. ($200 per month).
70. Every month, I will put $100 into my high-yield savings account.
71. By December 2007, I will find the graduate school I want to apply to.
72. By January 1 2008, I will have saved $1500 for a new car.