March 16

March 16 is just about 2 weeks away. I'm wondering what the district and chapter can do in support of the youth division.
I feel a hole in the leadership beside me. As well as my incapability in my leadership position. My determination is to become the best chapter leader around, yet I see the difference between where I want to be and where I am and I can't help but feel lost. My map so far is the gohonzon, the new human revolution, the human revolution, and my daimoku is my fuel.

'S all I got.

The golden evening silence

I've just about passed out. I'm ready for bed and yet I'm truly satisfied. I am happy to have supported the WD in their illustrious campaign to rid Orange County of misery and unhappiness. I hope that today the ESD and JHHS members we took care of at the meetings, as YMD and MD in support of our WD and YWD members, will grow up to be strong, capable leaders of Kosen-rufu. I'm living in ecstasy right now.

The silence of tonight is not one of fear, nor is it of anything that I should note. It's a happy, golden silence.

Reading my last blog from earlier in February, I realized that I miss writing in Spanish. Sorry to all those who don't read it or speak it, I haven't had time to post a translation of it. I hope to do that one day, but if I don't, then nothing is lost because I've put out there in the world, what it is that I felt on that day. You'll see what I said in that post in my actions.

Called by E.d. (cassie's) and was pleasantly surprised to know that I'll be doing the BSG support for Cassie's and Ed's wedding. Yay! I also have a 60-year-old Soka-han member as my other support. Haha. I can't believe Cassie's getting married! It's already happening--this marriage thing.

I want to get married, sooner than later. I want to start raising a family, sooner than later. I want to do so many things and yet I entertain doubt, it's actually a frequent visitor. I'm tired of it coming often to my mind, and settling in. I don't want it anymore.

Which brings me to "The Secret," do you know it? Such a new age-y scam of a dvd. What it says has always been there; I don't need some Australian to tell me it, Nichiren Daishonin, Shakyamuni Buddha, and others have been saying it for so long. But yet this dvd is still not the truth, it is just yet a fragment of the truth. It may have (dubious-sounding and -seeming) "actual proof" in it's video, but at the core of it, it isn't theoretically correct: it doesn't reveal the buddha nature inherent in our life. Thus, I can't help but disbelieve in the actual proof of it's supposed believers.

Agh. Frustration amounts...

夢？

No sabemos por qué soñar. Hace 3 noches, soñé ser maestro. Estuve en el colegio de mi juventud. Estuve en frente de l@s alumn@s, diciéndoles a l@s alumn@s cuáles fueron los normas de mis clases: ser puntual; ser hablador--discutir, platicar, y hablar sobre todas materias; no les faltar a los demás alumnos el respeto--ni por racismo ni por homofobia. No sé qué pensar sobre el maestrazo. Sé que no he soñado en la maestría desde hace 10 años (ó más). No sé aún hasta hoy qué pensar sobre mi sueño. Es como tengo neurosis de guerra. Me quedo con boca abierta.

Me dijó una amiga que no sabemos por qué soñamos lo que soñamos, pero sí que sabemos es que el sueño nos dice algo de nuestros deseos y lo que desea nuestro corazón (o sea, lo que es cierto es que es algo de nuestro misión). No sé en qué estoy seguro por ahora. Pero, siento super confuso. Ó, no confuso, pero no sé qué hacer como respuesta a mi sueño. Además, me preguntó ella ¿llevas mucho tiempo orando-rezando? La dije sí ¿cómo lo sabías tú?

Bueno os digo, a partir de hoy, vamos a ver lo que hago yo.

Diana is crazy

"Bisketti"?

"Is that like like bisque?
"Is that like like biscuits?
"Is that bruschetta without something?"

My roomie is crazy.