A breath, to muse upon the bsg and my life right now.

I am here. Hear me now! This is real. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing's going to stand in my way!

The wind is blowing all around me
But I'm still standing strong
My voice is getting louder and louder
And louder
So u can hear me sing my song

I am here. Hear me now! This is real. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing's going to stand in my way!

My life will never be the same
Because nothing's going to stand in my way

-Jennifer Paskow, "Unstoppable" (Finale)

Because I have a moment to breathe.

I love the SGI-USA. With appreciation for all the training I've had this past year, in 2007, I have to appreciate all my comrades-in-faith: my CIFs :P. They have more impact on me that even CEOs or CIOs or CFOs. My CIFs. Kansha first.

So, my week's been long, but oddly, I'm able to step back a bit and try to enjoy parts of my life--or actually not do BSG activites all weekend. Really September was just amazing in the amount of BSG activities I was involved in. I want others to really understand what the training of BSG is for--to really challenge the core of what you believe you are and what you are capable of. I think Sensei said that the BSG are the core of the YD and i'm beginning to understand what he means.

October is seemingly less 'continuous momentous challenge' as far as BSG is concerned--at least according to me. I'm going to be sending out an e-mail in a bit about the BSG--knowing that many of these guys want to see the performance at the festival next weekend, I actually really want to see the performance. Really, really, really. But, I know that at the heart of what it means to be in the Soka Gakkai is to do what Sensei would do is to support the members and guests at the event. To be BSG is to try and see, think, and act as Sensei would. Really, it's the foundation of the mentor-disciple spirit for many YMD and YWD.

Trivial thought of the blog: did you know that if you take one letter out of 'life' it becomes 'lie'?

My self-censored thought of the week: I don't have secrets, you just haven't asked.

My appreciative thought of the week: I am appreciative that we decided to move out of Laguna Summit when we did. Diana and I were protected in many aspects of our decision to move.

The melody in my brain goes a bit like ...

So, sanshoshima are attacking. And boy do they know where to attack.

There's pride, ego, and arrogance. And then there's my finances.

The previous apartment that I lived in charged my debit account with the regular monthly $1575 that I would've been charged, if I still lived there. I also cut a check for the new apartment's first month's rent of $595. Somewhere between rock-bottom on my checking account and even further in the red, I had a moment of clarity tonight while chanting--sansho shima knows where I am weakest very well.

I checked my account last night and to my astonishment there was negative balance in my account Actually like negative $780 in balance.

Apparently, I need to cancel that Automatic Debit.

Plus, I just saw that that rent check for the new place is about to go through. I'm headed to the office tomorrow to explain why it's not going to come through and see if I can't work something out. I'm also chanting so that I can talk with the right people tomorrow at Laguna Summit's corporate office. But i'm feeling less confident with them--looking up the information on R. W. Selby & Company on Google gives me less hope for a quick resolution. Western Property Management shows up with a better BBB score. Which looks better, on paper.

Sigh. Sansho shima, I hate you.