Currently...
...not listening to music.
...not doing homework.
...procrastinating.
...getting ready to do lab and workbook stuff for espanyol.

Ok, so what's up with me? Not much really. I bet I can fill up this space though.

One thing I did hear was that JBushnam's father died, suddenly, of a heart attack. This was from Hil, who's in TX who got this info, I'm guessing from either Megan or Lori. And all I can think is how close death is coming to my life. Just a few weeks ago, SSmith's father died suddenly too. It's sad to actually see that people are not invincible, though just for kicks my mind still likes to think so.

I really dislike people who are flirtatious. It angers me because I know I could fall for them. Only because I'm in what anyone calls a "desperate" sexual mode. I can imagine waiting for that someone that I'm in love with; however, I haven't found that one, hell I haven't even really been looking. Sex is what my chemistry tells me to find, though my mind for some reason or other says to not even look for it, not even seek relationships.

First of all, where's the ego? I need a middle ground, somewhere, between my id and my superego. I haven't found it though, and of course I'm a mostly super-ego driven person, so I won't look, or even try, at that, for a relationship. Hmm...I have a feeling that I'm repressing something!

Second, why aren't there any out guys on campus, that aren't kinda femmie, not that I don't like fem-'mos, but what gets me going is someone who's rather non-gay-acting.

Third, what is it that I'm afraid of? Rejection.

Hence, any guy who is flirtatious, even if straight and dating, screws me up further. Only because I know I can't have him BUT he's still my kinda sexy, or close-enough to it.

Ugh!

Oh, we gots some gifts from Cassie (though, she's not called Caisy, as I did say during dinner when I got the gift...sorry Cassie!!!). The gift is so~~~ cool; i got a clear file from a Tokyo library (tu/shu_guanV). Henyouyisi. It's so cool! Domo Arigatou kashi-chan!

Other news, I need to do a lot of sh*t, but I won't do it. Though, I feel like I'm more on top of things than I was before, like last week.

I was able to meet with NS from OCPN and go over somethings that need to happen, eventually, with the OCPN website. It's my current web-maintenance/web-building exercise. You can see it here. I didn't make most of the site, it's rather GonzaLo's thing. I definitely don' t have the skills OR creativity to make a whole, complete site like this. I however, did do some clean-up of the code and yada yada yada, so that the site would look better. There's some other cosmetic stuff that needs to happen, but I think it's at a place where it could be published. Now, if the OCPN weren't as slow as it is, then we could get somewhere. :D.

I talked with Hil, like I mentioned b4, over the weekend for 80 mins!, didn't mention that b4 did I?. It was nice talking to her. She told me that she's wondering why she's at that specific college and that she's considering going back to CO and entering CU. I'm thinking that it's a bit of homesickness, but also a lack of things to do. It sounds a lot like Soka, except with out the ebullient, friendly, and out-going people. (I mean come on it is texas! j/k--love y'all texans.)

speaking of texans...hehe david carr.

But back to Hil. It sounds like once she finds a good group of friends...aside: it's really hard to find friends after you've been with the same group of people for 3-4 years. You just become "used" to having those people around you, 'n to move to another place and have to make new friends and going from acquaitances to friends is difficult. It's also partly because the group that you were in b4 wasn't ever really hostile, or hostile-acting to becoming friends...she'll be fine. However, getting to that point with any group, or hell, with any person takes a lot of courage and persistence. Otherwise, it'll be something that will take a lot longer.

Toes on the nose!

Sports have been on my mind, mostly because the PHS boys soccer team won the state championship. Quite cool, for the place I grad'd from. I think it's long overdue that a non-Denver school won that thing too. However, I think that it's also interesting that the Soccer team, not that well funded, can get a state champ as compared to the Football team, which was booted out in the 4ter finals.

Sure, it's a different team, but I can feel some redemption. Now if the football (soccer) team would win state 4 years in a row...that'd be hella cool! I like football, but I think that there needs to be a diversification in the sports. Just Football, Basketball, and Baseball is boring. Hence, my affair with Field Hockey.

Hehe, don't I wish I had an affair.

Like, I said, I can fill up space rather well.

I'll write more of my pent-up frustrations tomorrow, or I mean later today...so I'll catchya l8r.