I feel like an abused cat:
-While it may look like I'm all there, I'm usually freaking out.
-While I'm quiet, usually that's just me being afraid.
-Quizically, I may be quiet and possibly confident-looking, I am afraid, constantly. Of what I don't know.
-In addition, the thought of me being in a kitten like state, gives me the warm fuzzies. :P

To keep me from going insane, at least I have a sense of humor. Dry, though it may be, I still have yet to lose it.

Perchance everyone is crazy and feels like an abused cat. Then, at least we're all on the same page.

Possibly, we could eventually all find our 'other half'. Too bad I wouldn't speak up to him even if he was the most gorgeous person in the world, or even, the most ugly person in the world.

WHY can I not find other gay guys that I'd like? "Straight-acting" gays can be "out and proud" too.

Too bad to be straight-acting means you also have to be more discreet.

Possibly those boards work, possibly those online matchmakers do too. I don't care, well I do, but summer has slipped through my fingers and is draining away. Maybe when I get back to school.

Why does it matter that I'm gay? Why do I fear to be named as such? I'm gay; I'm also not a pedophile, rapist, or a pervert. (Though, all men are perverts, compared to women).

Will I ever...fall in love? come-out to my parents? live a life? dream? lust? crave? have something that drives me?

I am a leaf floating on the surface of the pond. No control. Just breezes taking me away, and back again.

I can change this. Poison into medicine. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.