The pace of your gongyo dictates the pace of your life

So does what you do with your time at work. So, today at work, umm...ugh.

I get to see the lazy-ass ugly side of myself. I'm not happpy with myself, i know I'm a better person than this. I know that I've got to be the one that's changing my situation. Only me. A friend indeed will help.

Something about suburban straight white young males angers me. But my emotions are my own, it's not the white male's fault, it's my reaction. What is it? Have I been brainwashed to feel that all white males are evil, no matter how good looking they may be? Have I fallen into the trap that they are "the man" and that whatever shit that happens in my life is due to "the man"? I may just have. It's sad that they maybe the most discriminated group in our society. They have the anger of all women, of all minorities, of all queers, of most "adults," and of most of the lower class directed towards them. Hmm...that and add the pressures of parents and of the suburban lifestyle.

Yet they still do have so much advantage over anyone who doesn't fill out their same description.

Why?

I must push myself somehow to see what is at the root of this cause. Is it because they have what I want? Therefore see them as competition.

I'm competetive, btw. Starting to realize that it's one of the things that drives me, but i'm only competetive in the weirdest of things.

Because it's the summer, I've had the best chance to push myself in SGI activites. Nothing crazy, mind you, but still, I've been studying (self-motivated) more than ever, and I can start to feel the rewards of it. It's kind of like my exercise routine, I've started noticing the rewards of it, and so have others, after a long time of not seeing any visible results.

"Unseen virtue brings visible ... (fill in the blank)."

Garlic is my favorite thing to add to ANY dish! Dinner is the most amazing meal to cook. Garlic makes ANY dinner better, though the breaths of your guests may not be better after dinner. :D.

3 years of darkness can be uncovered by just one word.

myst
fire
rain
lake
soar

Gliding across the horizion,
He waits.
He's found what he wants.
His prey is sitting there,
But the moment's not right:
The winds comes from the west.
He waits.