It's so hard to keep up my life on here. I can see that there's so many things going on around me right now that I feel like I don't have time for much of anything other than those things. So, if this blog gets a bit dusty, pardon.

I don't even remember the hard, emotional things I've gone through in the last two/three weeks, let's just say that I have had a lot of things go on that seem to have pushed me.

Now I feel like I need some space to step-back and align myself right. Suddenly, with all these mid-terms I feel like I'm reacting instead of acting. Personally reacting to situations is my domain; boy do I love defence whenever it comes to a game. But right now, it seems more like things are happening to me and I haven't taken much action (ooo...decision) to make thigns happen.

A week or two ago, it was a lot the opposite. I would make things happen and even if things happened to me, I would still be able to change it.

See what happens when you stop scrutinizing things that are going on and then your own reactions to them.

OK...so i'm REDECIDING to understand making decisions, because whether I like it or not, I made a un/conscious decision in the last few weeks to let go "control." Phew...like this time, again I will have to fight hard. But I've made the decision, following through is easier than the decision-making part.

I really can't believe I'm up at 9h10 on SATURDAY morning! I'm going to do my 1hour of daims and then go to the gym and then eat and then I'll get started on music/studying. Okay getting started on an "auspicious" day.

Ayah! Zhongwen ta hen haoshuo le! Wo bu neng haoshuo.