Hemmmm....

Okay, so I should be a lot better in doing this research thingy. BUT Helas! Je suis dans mon chambre yet again! Lo que yo necesito hacer es que tenga mas confidence in what i'm doing and that I'm getting in the right place with my research. Demo, wo bu zhi dao zen me zuo. I could go to the toshokan, but I don't want to; I really just don't.

Hmm...I'm going to have to kick my but and work on this.

The Pearl is looming, tonight the articles are done being edited. I need to wrap-up the photos so that we have them by printing time. I just saw this cool mag called "tablas" i want to take a better look at it, but the layout was amazing and probably much more what we're looking for.

I need to do more research and look at books.

Tonight I have to meet with Dawn and meet with Bryson (my SGI Chapter YMD Leader), and then I have free time. I'm supposed to help Leema with layout tonight from 8pm, so I need to fit in at least 15 mins if not 30 of daims tonight so that I can re-start my daim goals with more passion this time. Get up again!

What's the most confusing in my mind is that I want to speak, but I can't. Emotionally, I'm stuck. I don't know what I'm stuck to...but I just feel like maybe I've become too comfortable with my place right now. Comfortable isn't bad so to say, but I think that maybe I've become disengaged, yet again, from what's happening around me. That either I feel above or below what's going on around me.

Grades suck, for the first time in a while, I have below a 3.0, not very far below a 3.0, but I NEED to do well so that I can keep the GS discount for my insurance and so that I don't fall into that pit that I get to when I "give up" about grades. No repeats of senior year, pleasE!

My brothers both seemd to be doing good when I called them on Sunday. My mom and obaachan seemed to be good to. David's taking IB exams this week so I'm worried, and I need to chant for his good results as well. I don't want him to be disappointed with his IB results. I want to make sure that he did his best in any way possible and all I have is my best prayers.

I'm missing shix a lot right now too. It feels like it was so long ago she left, but it was just a few days ago, and even then I still think that she's just taking a break from 300 right now. Perhaps like shee's been down at the pool for long swim sessions. It's amazing how much people can become a part of your daily life so quickly.

I'm missing c/o of '05 ers too. You know who you are. I'm missing you alot. I have a lot of Cuba LC homework to do so I just get glances at Mrs. Rabbit, my former Portland-spouse, and uyennie. It's not much but ahh, i revel in those bits of time i get with them. I've been spending so much time with my 300 compatriots that I'm starting to feel so attached to them too.

Ahh...such a lovely Soka Family, sad that we have to have it break up so soon. :'(.

Okay, it's two, time to go to the library. See y'all tomorrow.