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At the moment, feeling: tired. Not much feeling on the inside...just dead tired.

Music: what music?
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Today has been a decent day.

Worked hard, made some dough.

Played hard, made a fool out of myself, with a hockey stick.

Have a new car, plenty to be happy about.

I just wish I could be an out and proud citizen of this country. Work for instance: so many things to worry about: Mexicans, how will they treat me...you know they're catholics, and I haven't heard the best from Robbie. Whiteys: it's not like they're all going to be fine with it. Some of them even seem homophobes. But that's limiting myself.

I should be out and proud in all my life. Right?

My friends all know. They egg me here to come out to my parents.

I want to. But that voice in me, or that worry in me, keeps me from doing that.

This job I have, I'm happy with it. I burn a bit, and who knows if i'll get skin cancer, but you know what...I like the job. Hard and labourious it maybe, but it's money. Plus the tips. Plus the driving of the nice and fancy cars along with the crappy, and "is this going to make it through the wash machine" cars. Plus, the cute guys at work. One of them, I'm sure, isn't gay...but you know what...it's all about the eye-candy. :)

However, back to this out and proud thing.

Stupid societal pressure, stupid myself not standing up to it.

"I have the right to be proud of who I am. No matter who says what."

It's just the threat of loosing a job or physical abuse that stop me from being out and proud.

For some reason, it just angers people so much that they could resort to physical violence.

That's such an amazing idea, when we live in an age where I can email, call, IM, chat, or mobile phone someone pretty much anywhere, anytime. From any background, to any background. From gays to straights. From black to white, and everything in between. From a christian to a pagan. From a buddhist to a muslim. From Japan to Brazil. From North to south, east to west, and every corner inbetween. (AmISoundingLikeATelCoCommercial??)

Oh well.

Life still goes on, and it's just a month.

A month 'til I go back to my resting ground. My training ground, actually. :).

Train, train, train. Work, work, work. Study. Study. Study.

Ci vediamo, ragazzi.