Some Laughs for y'all back in the FTC

VISITORS GUIDE TO FORT COLLINS

1. All directions start with "Get on College Avenue"...which has no beginning and no end.
2. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive".
3. The morning rush hour is from 5am to 11am. The lunch rush hour is from 11am to 2pm. The evening rush hour is from 2pm to 10pm. Friday's rush hour traffic begins Thursday morning.
4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross traffic's way.
5. Everyone complains about those reckless speeders, but if someone gets caught speeding by photo-radar, the ticket isn't "valid".
6. Construction downtown is a way of life and permanent form of entertainment provided by the Downtown Business Association.
7. Cache La Poudre can only be pronounced by a native.
8. Whenever the word Horsetooth is mentioned, people laugh, boaters and fisherman cry.
9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-25 north between Wyoming state line and Wellington is 115mph. Anything else is downright sissy.
10. If you are in the left hand lane and only going 75 in a 55mph zone, people are NOT waving when they go by.
11. Prospect Road going east is our daily version of NASCAR, with a perpetual caution flag.
12. If it is 100 degrees outside, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
13. Bellevue is actually hard to give directions for, but you don't want to go there anyway.
14. Anyone within 20 miles of Ft. Collins on the day of a CSU home game is certifiably crazy. (Although city traffic during the game is quite enjoyable)
15. I AM STILL WAITING FOR IT TO SNOW WITHIN CITY LIMITS!
    P.S. And Thank God it's not Boulder