Tonight I have decided that I need to write in my blog.

It's been a long time since I feel that I've written in here and I feel so much like crap that I need some place to express my feelings.

Except




I don't know where to start.

Well, first, my gongyo (prayers) haven't been consistent and I think that's the main thing that's causing me to feel like crap.

I feel off-balance all the time. And I also feel that I don't devote enough time out of my day to do things that I value: doing gongyo and chanting, reading, studying, learning languages, basically things that I know will make me happy. Except that right now, I feel so off-kilter, so off-balance, so spinning-out-of-control that, at times I don't do anything, or feel like I don't do anything.

I guess this could be enhanced by the fact that I went off campus to Las Vegas and feel like I've been away from reality for more than 2 weeks. But that is probably just an side effect or something like that.

However, this still doesn't solve my feeling that I'm in 15 feet of sh*t and trying to crawl out of that in to a gas-filled sewage chamber filled with flying man-eating amoebas that are being devoured by "Langolier"-like creatures that are hell-bent on destroying the world by eating it through and through.

Ok, so that may have been me playing a bit dramatic...just a bit. (GRIN)

I have to leave work now...but I'll try'n' write more later tonight.